


Office Space

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, Assault, Bottom Ryan, Clumsiness, Dirty Talk, Domestic Violence, Fluff, Foreplay, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Riding, Rimming, Rough Oral Sex, Sexual Assault, Slurs, Teasing, Top Shane, Trauma, Violence, andrew/steven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-02-27 15:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 34,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The construction really was only supposed to take  a few weeks on Ryan’s office. And it would have - it was a simple expansion and paint job. That was, until Shane Madej got brought onto the project. It only took two days (and three near misses) for Ryan to believe Shane may be trying to kill him. But could it be something else?





	1. Construction

It was never Ryan’s plan to work in an office. Set schedules, irritating goals and deadlines, it was dull. It was working with film, sure - but it wasn’t his dream. 

No, Ryan’s dream was to make and edit feature films. Real, honest to God movies for the theaters. But dreams came second to a good job and a steady paycheck, both of which Ryan needed and this job offered.

When he learned the office he worked in - along with a handful of others - was being expanded, he was actually pretty excited. It was a small project; just knocking down the wall between their office and an empty one to make more room for expansion, and a new paint job. No more than a month. But it was different than the normal drab walls of the office he was used to. And watching handsome contractors work was never a bad thing. 

Okay – maybe it really had been too long since he got laid, but Ryan was a busy person. And being socially awkward didn’t help. It’s not like there were many men that really _appealed_ to Ryan anyways. Even by California standards; he was picky to say the least.

The looks weren’t the problem. Pretty much any male identifying person between the age of twenty-two and forty with good hygiene and a nice smile could get him interested. The problem was intelligence. Ryan was a smart man – not egotistically so, but he knew what he brought to the table in that regard. Finding another man that would appreciate _that_ and not just his ass was, well – a pain in the ass. So being able to look at the contractors, without the social requirement of speaking to them, that couldn’t hurt at all, right?

 

***

The first day the contracting company arrived at the office, Ryan was a little disappointed. He’d imagined a group of rather hunky young men, a mix of races and ages, all sweating and rough and just dirty enough for the imagination. What he walked in on that morning was a group of four men and two women, all well outside of the reasonable age range for masturbation fantasy. He appreciated an older man as much as the next guy, but when the closest worker to his limit was balding with a plumber’s crack and severe rosacea; it left a lot to be desired.

So Ryan settled in for a very long and very boring month in his corner spot. He buried himself in work, as usual, turning his headphones up louder than necessary most of the time to hide the chatter of the workers behind him as they discussed plans and marked out areas for demolition.

 

Three days into the project, Ryan walked into a quiet office. Only one worker was there, and not someone he’d seen before. The man was tall and – well – fucking beautiful. He was wearing a fitting blue and green flannel shirt, unbuttoned to reveal a bit of a stomach and _just_ enough muscle to be sexy as hell. His hair was a mess, brown and flyaway, and his eyes were dark as they squinted, focused on the television hanging on the wall behind Ryan’s desk. A tool belt was slung low over his jean covered hips, accenting his ass perfectly as he tapped his fingers on his sides. Fuck. Now _that_ was someone Ryan would get distracted by.

He settled into his desk, keeping an eye on the man in front of him even as he booted up the computers and opened the notebook by his keyboard. He was supposed to be working on editing some ridiculous commercial for some erection medication. Or maybe it was something to prevent heart attacks; he didn’t know anymore, after a while all of the people running in the wild green grass with stupid, shit eating grins all started to look the same. He could have done these edits in his sleep. Or in this case – while staring at the pert ass of the construction worker in front of him.

He could make out the outline of a thick wallet, and wondered if this guy was one of those that kept a condom in it. He didn’t usually go for those types of guys; it didn’t take much to be educated on safe sex – if they didn’t even know _that_ there was no telling how good or bad they’d be in bed.

Ryan shook the thought of this incredibly tall, incredibly handsome stranger naked and hard in his bed and pulled up his Final Cut to begin working. Headphones on – though low enough to hear if the construction worker spoke – and fingers at the ready, playing through clip after clip to find the right juxtaposition.

 

Despite hoping to spend his time distracted by the cute ass or charming smile of the construction worker, Ryan found himself immersed in the project. It was boring and he’d done a thousand commercials that looked just the damn same, but it was a project anyway. And Ryan knew if he ever wanted to make a name for himself in the big leagues he’d need to bring his A-game to the little league as well.

Faintly, he could hear two of his colleagues, Steven and Zack, discussing some golf advertisement Steven was attempting to put together. Something to do with saturation and magenta, Ryan thought, but it was pretty easy to tune out his coworkers. Ryan leaned over to grab a external hard drive with more footage on it. As he did, a loud crack from in front of him startled everyone into silence. Seconds later, before Ryan could really even process what was happening, a crash directly to his left sent him falling out of his chair.

The television – a good fifty inches at least – sat shattered on the floor and part of the desk he’d rolled away from just seconds before, cord still stretched from the hole in the wall where it was plugged in. Ryan looked up, his eyes bulging, at the stranger.

“What the _fuck_?”

“I am _so_ sorry – Oh my God. Are you okay? Fuck – It slipped out of my hands.” The worker rushed around and tried to help Ryan stand up, tripping over Ryan’s backpack and knocking over a pile of blank DVD’s on Ryan’s desk.

“Jesus Christ,” Ryan scrambled to his feet and righted the man before be caused any more damage.

“I’m so sorry,” the man repeated again. Ryan swallowed hard. His heart was pounding a rapid song against his ribs, both the adrenaline of his near concussion and — holy hell this guy was handsome. Up close, the worker was even taller, making Ryan look up to meet his dark gaze.

“Accidents happen,” Ryan said, sounding more out of breath than he meant to. The guy smiled, a blinding, toothy grin that made Ryan a little weak in the knees.

“Maybe warn me to move next time.”

The guy laughed a little and nodded. “I’m _really_ sorry. I coulda killed you.”

Ryan shrugged. “No harm done, just a bit of a heart attack.”

“I’ll clean up this mess.” The guy rounded Ryan’s desk, careful to avoid bumping it as he rounded it and picked up the shattered television. Ryan crossed his arms over his own chest, watching the muscles in the worker’s arms bulge with the strain. When the tv was moved out of the way, the guy went back to work pulling down the cords.

“So can I know the name of my would be murderer?” Ryan asked. He settled back I to his desk, headphones hung lightly around his neck as he looked up at the guy on the ladder. The man smiled a little. “My name’s Shane.”


	2. Dangerous Waters

“Hey, Ryan, wanna meet up for drinks after work?” Andrew asked. Ryan frowned. 

“It’s a Tuesday.”

“It’s anniversary night at the Pair-a-Dice.” 

“The Pair-a-Dice is a dive.”

“Strong booze.” 

“Work night.” 

“Loser.” 

Ryan laughed helplessly. “Okay, how about this. Let me see what my assignment for this week is. If it bores me enough I’ll come out.”

Andrew shrugged, flopping into his desk next to Ryan’s. 

Ryan shook his head and settled into his desk, booting up his computers and glancing up. Shane was there again, working on smoothing out a chunk of drywall at the tall ceiling. He was seated on the very top of the ladder, one foot braced on a step, the other dangling off the back of the ladder. Ryan took a moment to appreciate the length of those legs once more. It was only the second day he’d seen the guy, but Ryan had the feeling he wouldn’t ever get sick of seeing him. 

Their eyes met for a moment and Shane grinned, a brilliant cheesy smile that had Ryan blushing at being caught staring. Shane reached out, grabbing for the wide mouthed bottle of water he had on the edge of the ladder. Not watching what he was doing, his hand knocked it, sending it plummeting off the ladder - and directly onto the electrical sockets on the floor at Ryan’s feet. A loud grinding, popping noise filled the air and Ryan shot up, away from the puddle of fast spreading water. He jerked the cords to his computer and monitor out before damage could be done to them.

Smoke rose from the outlets even as Shane scrambled down the ladder. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Are you nuts?” Andrew snapped, startling Shane. 

“I didn’t mean to—“ 

“This equipment is thousands of dollars - if you shorted anything out —“ 

“It’s fine, Andrew, our computers didn’t turn off, I’m sure it just shorted that plug - it was empty anyways,” Steven coaxed, trying to calm him before a fight broke out. Not that it looked like Shane would do much fighting; his entire face was a bright red, eyes cast down and hands clasped in front of his stomach. For being as tall as he was, he looked incredibly small at that moment. 

Ryan felt a surge of pity for him. In an effort to diffuse the tension, he laughed a little. “Hey, Andrew, about those drinks, I guess we’ll never find out. It’s gonna take a few hours at least for the outlets to dry, I can’t work.”

“Oh yes you can,” Sara said from behind them. She grinned when they all turned. “Well where the hell have you been, boss?” Zack asked. Sara had recently been promoted to the lead editor in their company. Though they’d all been vying for the spot, it was great to see one of their own make it. 

Sara rolled her eyes. “Still doing the shit work we all do. I just get a private office to do it,” she said, entering further. 

“Do you have shit saved on the computer itself for this project?”

“No, just the cloud.”

“Good. Move to the other office for today. Sorry to separate our little _pod_ ,” she teased.

“Already separated when you left,” Steven said. Sara rolled her eyes. “Oh I know, I held all you useless dicks together. Whatever will you do?” 

They group shared an honest laugh as Ryan gathered his bag and belongings. He threw one last glance at the quiet Shane, now smoothing a part of the wall - on the ground, this time.

 

Turns out the project was just as dull as Ryan had feared. He plodded through it, feeling completely out of place in the other office and desperately wishing his outlets would dry.

He wandered back into the office around lunch, feeling a bit like an outsider looking in as he watched his friends work. It wasn’t a new feeling — social awkwardness usually comes with some degree of anxiety. 

Looking around, he could see Andrew and Steven, heads close together as they discussed the video on Andrew’s computer. Zack had his head low, mapping out an advertisement idea with the red pencil. Off in the empty space created by tearing down the wall, Ryan could see Shane and a few of the other construction crew standing in the center of the room, one pointing to one of the remaining walls.

Shane to a good foot above all of his coworkers, his messy hair giving him an extra inch. Today’s outfit was a red and green flannel shirt, giving him a rather out of place festive look.

Funny how - from a distance – Shane almost seemed graceful on those mile long legs. Not at all like a person who drop a TV or nearly electrocute someone. Actually, he looked almost – – 

“Hello, earth to Ryan!” Zack’s hand in front of his face startled Ryan out of his thoughts.

Ryan shook his head to clear the metaphorical cobwebs. “Lunch.”

“Yeah, I’m skipping – I can’t figure out this stupid promo.”

Ryan frowned a little. “Want help with it?” Zack shook his head, scratching his blond hair and mussing it.

“Nah, I just need to look from a different angle.”

“Want me to bring you something?”

Zack shrugged. “If you wanna – you know what I like. How is it in the dunce office?”

Ryan rolled his eyes, shoving his friend lightly. “You know I didn’t _choose_ to be there dude. It’s weird. I hate not having you guys to B-S with.”

“I bet. Is Sara around?”

“She was for a while, then she had some meeting to go to. I asked her to come get a beer with us after work though.”

Andrew perked up from his desk. “Did I hear you say beer with _us_? Does that mean the prude is coming to drink?”

Ryan sighed patiently and nodded. “After today I need it. I’m working on an advertisement for a fucking Swiffer, man.”

“I’ve got Puppy Chow,” Steven offered.

“At least you get to look at cute puppies all day. See you guys in a bit.” Ryan raised his hand as he headed out of the room and out of the office building. He withdrew his phone when he reached the door, checking messages and social media. The diner down the street had good food and it saved on gas, so he headed that direction, glancing around the parking lot to make sure no cars were coming.

Two feet into the parking lot, Ryan’s attention was pulled from his phone to the screeching of tires. He looked up in time to see a sleek silver car racing toward him, tires squealing as the driver attempted to brake before hitting him. Ryan’s entire world flashed white, heat racing up and closing his throat. His entire body swayed, the quiet threat of passing out. The car stopped inches from Ryan’s petrified form, his mouth open in a silent shout, prepared for impact.

When the realization that he hadn’t been squished under a car settled, he blinked. Behind the wheel was none other than Shane, his eyes bulging. He threw open the door and stepped out, reaching for Ryan even as he stumbled back.

“Fuck, I didn’t even see you! Are you okay? Did I hit you?”

“Seriously!” Ryan snapped, surprising himself. Shane jumped as well, his arms dropping to his sides.

“I—“

“You nearly killed me!”

“I—“

“Twice!”

“Well, I mean—“

“What the hell?!”

Shane didn’t bother trying to speak this time, just stood still, hands by his sides. Ryan noticed again how small he managed to look in that position – and hated himself again for thinking it. He was supposed to be mad. He huffed, trying his best to look furious.

“Watch where you’re fucking going, okay?” He turned on his heel and stormed off toward the diner.

“I’m sorry!” Shane shouted as he walked away.


	3. Pair-a-Dice

The best thing about the Pair-a-Dice was that there was literally nothing good about it. It was usually dirty, the only bartender was a cocksucker - and not in the fun way - and Ryan was pretty sure people were brewing moonshine in the basement because no whiskey should be that fucking strong.

The bar was mostly empty; a few regulars and the office crew, their faces washed out under the low lights. The floor was sticky wood, and the tables weren’t balanced no matter how much they fidgeted with them. 

But his friends were there and it had been a pretty shitty day anyway. The booze was cheap and fuck if doing the “wrong” thing didn’t feel good sometimes. He sipped his — it was supposed to be an old fashioned but Ryan was pretty sure it was twice as potent — and listened to Steven telling a story that had happened over the weekend during a completely failed blind date. 

“Wait wait, so did you bail?” 

“Fuck no, there was shrimp!” 

Everyone laughed, and Zack spoke up. “But the guy was what - sixty?” 

“Fifty-three. I didn’t say I let him fuck me. I just flirted and let him feed me. I’m not gonna say no to a hundred-dollar meal, even if it means pretending I’m _totally_ into sugar daddies.” 

“Oh be honest, you would be if it didn’t mean sex with ‘em,” Andrew teased. Steven pursed his lips in thought and shrugged. 

“You might be right. But I like sex, easy as that. And no sex makes for a very unhappy boy. And an unhappy Steven.” 

Sara groaned at his joke, wrinkling her nose. “I’m so glad I don’t have to listen to you guys talk about your dicks eight hours a day anymore.” 

“Oh come on, you miss us,” Zack argued.

“I miss you. Sometimes,” Sara relented, sipping at the orange tinted drink in her hand. “Other times I’m so glad to be working near mature adults.” 

A roar rose from the table at her burn, their hands banging the rickety wood. Ryan was laughing with the rest, the stress of the day sliding off his back like water. 

It was Andrew that brought him crashing back to reality. “So what’s with that new construction guy anyway?” 

“Who, Stretch Armstrong?” Zack asked.

“You’re too young to be making that reference,” Sara snipped. 

“Well you understood it.”

“I’m older than you.” 

“By three years!” Zack argued. “And besides, I have a brain. And Google.”

“And they still make ‘em,” Steven added. 

“You’re not helping,” Sara grumbled, kicking him under the table. 

“Ow, and I never said I would help you!” 

Sara’s eyes narrowed threateningly and Steven grinned. 

“Remember you love us.”

“Yeah, love to fantasize about murdering you sometimes.”

“Shut up,” Andrew said, effectively silencing Steven. “Seriously though - what’s his deal?” 

“I don’t know why he hasn’t been fired,” Zack admitted.

“I feel like he has it out for me personally,” Ryan mumbled, picking at a splinter on the table.

“Why? I mean, wrong place, wrong time, but they’re accidents.”

“He almost hit me with a car today.”

Their table went silent for a moment all eyes on Ryan. He sipped at his drink, feeling it burn down his throat. “I was walking to lunch and looking at my phone and he barreled outta nowhere. Stopped like inches from me.”

“He’s an idiot. Gotta be sucking someone’s cock to keep that job,” Andrew muttered.

“Or maybe he just hates Asians,” Steven suggested. When no one responded, he looked around at all his friends staring. “What? Tall white guy being a racist – you’re acting like that’s farfetched.”

“Kinda a stereotype,” Andrew teased.

“Well, you know… More like logic,” Zack admitted.

“More importantly, _you’re_ an Asian, idiot,” Ryan cried.

Steven blinked at him then slapped his hands on his cheeks. “Oh my God, no! I thought I was Canadian!” He shouted.

The group laughed, surprised by the outburst.

“But seriously,” Ryan said when they began to settle, “if he’s Generic Racist Stereotype White Boy Number Three… Why hasn’t he tried to kill you?”

“Maybe he just hasn’t noticed me.”

“You sit two fucking desks away from me.”

“Well, I’m small.”

“You’re six foot!”

“I’m also quiet,” Steven tried again.

“Oh, bull _shit_ ,” Ryan said, laughing. Steven put his hand over his heart.

“Well now I’m just hurt. Such a cruel opinion of me.”

“No, I think that would be called a fact, sweetheart. You’re about as quiet as an elephant with a tuba up his ass,” Andrew teased. Steven gaped at him, chuckling even as his cheeks began to burn.

“What if someone’s trying to murder you?” Zack suggested.

Andrew snorted. “Worst hitman in history.”

“Or best,” Zack argued.

“How do you figure?”

“Well, California penal code one ninety-five says that homicide is excusable when it’s committed by accident or misfortune. As long as the murder occurred while doing something lawful by legal means, with usual caution applied, and without any unlawful intent. Which means, if he were a hitman, all he’d really have to do is make it look like an accident. All of Ryan’s near misses could fall under the protection of that penal code. The TV fell. Stretch was taking every caution he could against it falling – it wasn’t his fault there were no other construction guys with him. The water bottle falling – that could _easily_ be an accident. And as for the car, Ryan flat out said he was watching his phone instead of the parking lot. That parking lot does have a lot of blind spots, Shane could say he just didn’t see him. There would probably be a trial but really, any judge would let him walk. At _worst_ a slap on the wrist or a fine. And – if he’s a pro – he’d include the cost of any possible court fees and fines in his hiring costs. Hence, best. Hitman. Ever.”

When he’d finished speaking, their friends were all silent until Andrew slammed his nearly empty beer mug on the table, startling all of them. “A – how the _fuck_ do you know a goddamn penal code by heart?”

“Because I like law. I may be a bit of a jock but I’m not nearly as stupid as my _stunning_ good looks would imply,” Zack said, mock fluffing his hair. Andrew smirked.

“Sure, I bet. And B – Ryan, who put out a hit on your life?”

Ryan snorted. “No clue but I’d really like them to retract it.”

“What about Drake?” Sara asked softly, staring into her glass. Ryan’s smile faded and he looked at his own drink, suddenly wishing he had ten more.

“He’s not rich enough to hire a hitman,” he argued weakly.

“No. But he’s charming enough to convince someone to scare you. And smart enough to plan something like this,” Sara said.

“Wait, who’s this Drake?” Steven asked.

Ryan cleared his throat. “It’s my ex.”

“ _Drake_? Man – that’s a douchebag name. Why the hell would you let someone with that name fuck you – let alone _date_ you?” Zack asked. Ryan squirmed a little uncomfortably, staring downward. Sara kicked Zack under the table, reaching out and squeezing Ryan’s wrist. Zack’s laughter faded almost as soon as it bubbled up, seeing Ryan’s sullen expression.

“He’s not just some douchebag ex we can all make fun of is he?”

Ryan shook his head. “No. I mean—He’s an ex, and he’s a douchebag. But… He’s a _really_ fucking unstable person. _Dangerously_ unstable.”

“How the hell did you get mixed up with someone like that?” Steven asked. “You’re too damn good of a guy to mess with trash.”

“You’ve only known me for a year or so, man. I was a mess before I started working at the office… And that was where Drake came in.”

Ryan rose and ordered another drink, knowing he’d need at least one – probably more like three – to get through this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are my lifeblood! Next chapter will be out on Saturday January 13th - new tags will be added at the posting of that chapter due to some not so fun discussion in it, just a heads up!


	4. Drake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heed the new warnings on this chapter please guys. Hope you enjoy!

“Drake was every bad boy fantasy anyone had in high school and college all rolled up into one. He was the unexpected hero in teen comedies and the sly criminal in whodunits. He swooped in and saved me when I was at my lowest, promising me a world of fortune if only I trusted him, let him take care of me. 

I wasn’t in a good place right out of college. My major felt worthless and I barely had any friends that stuck with me. Everyone moved on - up to Oregon and Washington or out to Texas or New York. Everyone had internships and jobs waiting, and most had lovers they were sure about marriage with. It felt like I got dropped in the middle of nowhere with damn near nothing to my name. 

I didn’t wanna go home. That, to me, was weakness. It was the epitome of failure, moving home after I worked so hard for I dependence at college. So I got a shit job as a swamper at a bar and I tried every day to break into my dream. 

I met Drake at the bar. I still remember that night — guess it’s the woe of my filmmaker brain? He uh, I was at the bar early cause I needed to talk to my boss. And there Drake was. He was dressed in worn out blue jeans and fuckin’ motorcycle boots. And - get this - a leather fucking jacket. I was lost. He was damn pretty too. Tall with dark, messy hair and the coldest blue eyes, jaw that could cut diamond and scruffy - I mean he coulda walked straight out of this year’s blockbuster action movie.”

“Or horror movie,” Zack grumbled. Ryan chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah - but I didn’t think that at the time. All I thought was how fucking long it’d been since someone held me and made me feel like I mattered. And I wanted someone strong and tough like him to do it.”

Ryan swallowed another mouthful of his drink, thankful for the burn of it now that he struggled through a retelling of very likely the worst year of his life. His friends sat quietly, appropriate expressions of concern and attention on each face. Tears tickled the back of Ryan’s throat when he glanced at them. Wetting his lips, he continued. 

“My first sign should have been how easy it was. I mean - I wasn’t an ugly guy, I’m no George Clooney, but— this guy - he looked at me like I was a steak dinner for about two seconds and I was getting my brains screwed out by the next night. Easy as that. And I figured that’d be all - but Drake stuck around. First it was just sex, and that was fine. Even at the start - dates were fine. He took me places and treated me nice. We went out to parties and had a ton of fun. I felt normal again, finally. But things changed. At first it was subtle shit I didn’t even notice. Or if I did, I could just play it off as me being sensitive or silly or stupid — I mean I felt like I was all of those things anyways. 

Things like him wanting to look at my phone or play on my social media I thought was just him watching out for me. When he started telling me how to dress, I thought it was sweet; he wanted me to look put together and professional, maybe it’d even help me get a job where I wanted sooner. I loved the guy – by that point he’d completely charmed me. I would’ve done anything he told me to. And I did.

I did… A lot that he told me to. For a while he said jump and I said how high. It wasn’t my proudest moment. But he—I – I let myself get convinced he cared. I let him make me believe that I was weak without him, that I needed him to even do simple shit like going to work or hanging out at the bar. I let him convince me that my small group of friends were a mess, were all gonna backstab me, were gonna hurt me in some way and I dumped them all. Most of them _still_ won’t even talk to me. 

He knew exactly what to say to get me to do anything. Everything from buying him dinner to washing his clothes to having sex with him. It was as easy as snapping his fingers. One word and I’d be his. 

And the worst part is I didn’t fucking notice. No one was around anymore to tell me it was shit – and back when they were – before he got rid of them – I didn’t buy it. Because I was young and dumb and I thought I was in love. I thought _he_ was in love. And maybe he was in his own way. But it wasn’t any sort of love a person should be subjected to, you know?”

Ryan swallowed hard, staring at the table top as he blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. 

“What—What made you realize, Ryan?” Steven asked softly. He sounded almost afraid of the answer. Ryan chuckled, shaking his head. 

“I was a fucking idiot. I started to think something might be fishy when he slapped me for the first time.”

The air seemed to thicken around the group, heavy with the weight of Ryan’s confession. He pushed on, knowing if he didn’t get it out now, he never would. 

“He—I mean he’d been hitting me during sex for months. It was just kinda his thing. Bad day meant a bruised ass for me. But then hitting started to happen outside the bedroom and in it—Well he liked choking. And it got worse from there. Yelling, screaming. Punching.”

Ryan laughed without humor, still not looking up at his friends. 

“And I fucking _stayed_. I was so convinced that I deserved this and he was doing it to make me a better person that I stayed and I let him do it.”

Ryan stood up and walked to the bar silently, feeling four twin gazes burning holes into his back as he ordered an old fashioned. The alcohol was beginning to blur the edges of his mind, softening his vision and making things a little easier to bring up. They still hurt – more so than when he was completely sober – and he worried he’d end up breaking down if much more was brought to the surface. But his friends had a right to know, especially if this Shane guy _was_ a friend of Drake’s. They could all feasibly be in some danger if that was the case.

He settled back into his seat and cleared his throat, continuing. 

“I figured he’d never go too far. He was just working on making me tougher. Ready for the world. I was so convinced when he told me I was useless without him— I couldn’t even go shopping without him by that point. I think I would’ve stayed forever if it hadn’t been for the night he got fired.

See, Drake worked at a radio station. It was a small one, but he made good money. He had this smooth voice. It was like fucking velvet and I swear he could’ve made someone orgasm just from talking sometimes. But something happened. I’m still not super clear on the details. He told me it was a change of management, but I had someone tell me after it was because he got caught stealing from the company. Either way — he came home furious. I tried to make it better, by that point I was his punching bag anyway. So I offered sex and dinner and a massage and pretty much everything I knew. And I thought it was working. Until I hugged him and told him everything would work out and everything happened for a reason. I guess he didn’t like it. It set him off and he—“ Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat, tears blurring his vision until the dark, shiny wood of the table and the glass in his hands were just a smudge. He cleared his throat.

“He came after me. Fists first, no big deal. Then he started grabbing things. I tried to run but he kept coming. I’d seen him mad a lot, but when I looked into his eyes that night... He wanted to kill me. When I heard our knife drawer open I bolted. I was in fucking sweats and nothing else, bloody and bruised, I’m sure I looked terrifying. I ran down the street as fucking fast as I could. Hid in an alley and called 9-1-1. I could hear him screaming for me and I honestly thought they wouldn’t make it in time. They did though. And he got arrested. I still remember him fucking looking at me when they put him in the car. If he could’ve slipped away from them, he—“ Ryan shook his head, blinking fast. 

“Where is Drake now, Ryan?” Andrew asked, his voice startlingly quiet. 

Ryan swallowed another mouthful of his drink. “The case went to trial. He got a year and a half in prison.”

“He just got out a month ago,” Sara said softly. The others glanced at her. 

“I don’t get it though. Where do you fit into all this? How do you know this douchebag?”Steven asked. Sara huffed, her mouth curling up into a forced half smile.

“Drake is my big brother.”

 


	5. Crash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Extra chapter. Hope y'all enjoy!

“I didn’t even know you _had_ a brother. Let alone a fucking lunatic for one,” Zack mumbled. Sara shrugged. 

“I don’t speak to him anymore. Not after what I saw he did to Ryan. Ryan and I were introduced pretty quick after they started dating and we got along well because of our interest in filmmaking. I kinda became Ryan’s confidant when it came to the abuse. There wasn’t much I could do – Drake’s a golden boy to my parents; at least he was before all this came out. So I just tried my best to support Ryan. I gave him a place to stay when Drake was having his worst days, I brought up leaving him more than once, even offered to do the dirty work and call the cops – but Ryan asked me not to.”

“It’s not on Sara. She really, _really_ did want me to be safe. I was just stubborn and she respected my wishes. She helped me through some really fucking bad nights after the arrest. I stayed with you for what, two months?”

“Two or three yeah. I’m the one that got him the job at our office. And I stood with him in the court room while Drake was convicted.”

“And took me out for a beer afterwards,” Ryan said, laughing despite the tears shining in his dark eyes. Sara smiled patiently.   
“I wish I’d done more,” she said, looking at their friends. “But I’ve worked on making it better. Made sure Ryan was stable and on his feet after Drake went away, and now I keep tabs on him. It’s how I know he got out a month ago. He’s on probation, and there’s still that restraining order, but…”

“But that means shit if you’re _really_ pissed,” Steven finished. 

“And crazy enough to plan something like this,” Sara agreed. 

“So what, do you think Drake and Shane are friends or something?”

Ryan shook his head. “I got no idea. Shane doesn’t seem to be Drake’s type. Honestly I’d say he’s more _my_ type but that’s… It wouldn’t matter if it was someone sent to scare me. If Drake still holds a grudge…”

“I’d say yes,” Sara said softly. Ryan grimaced. 

“Okay, assuming the grudge is bad enough to want to injure me, I don’t know what we’d do. I mean, or this guy could just seriously be a klutz and my timing is shit. We won’t know more until we see more.”

“You know we got your back, right?” Steven asked softly. 

“I know.”

“Seriously – if this Shane guy is one of Drake’s friends, even if he’s not – just wants to hurt you for whatever reason – He’s not getting to you without getting past us,” Andrew affirmed, smiling at Ryan.

Ryan grinned despite himself. “You know, as much as I fucking hated myself with Drake. And as much as he convinced me I was shit. Afterward – I really got into a good place. With you guys. I can’t thank you enough for that, you know?”

“Shouldn’t have to,” Zack said. 

“Friends don’t owe each other things. We just care,” Sara said softly. She squeezed Ryan’s hand. “I think we should get you home before you end up too drunk to come in tomorrow though – that’s your fourth one.”

“You know what Drake does to me,” Ryan mumbled, surprised he hadn’t noticed how much he was drinking. Sara rose, helping him stand. 

“Thank you, Ryan. For telling us the truth,” Zack said. Andrew and Steven nodded, their expression solemn.

“You deserved to know. If he’s really gonna come after me – I wouldn’t be shocked if he tried to hurt my friends. If it is him – I’m sorry in advance for getting you guys involved.”

“Don’t be. We’re glad to be here for you,” Steven promised. 

Ryan smiled and allowed Sara to lead him out of the bar. 

***

Being hungover at work is never fun, even if one works with friends. Especially if one works with friends. Ryan realized this when he walked into the office the next day. In an effort to make Ryan’s brain ooze out of his ears it seemed, Steven and Andrew were doing their best impressions of a packed stadium, shouting at one another over a fucking contrast setting on an advertisement they’d been paired together on. 

Zack was doing his own impression - of the band said stadium was listening to - by blasting music from the speakers of his computer in an effort to drown the noise of Andrew and Steven’s arguing, and the noise from the construction crew. Though they’d been mostly silent the past week, today was the day it seemed that they decided to complete every loud thing on their list. Hammers, nail guns, laughter; the empty side of the office was alive with movement. 

Ryan’s exhausted gaze scanned the workers, a little surprised when he was unable to immediately pick out the oversized Shane. Maybe he had the day off? At least Ryan would be able to work with the peace of mind that he wouldn’t nearly die – even if the ache in his head felt like he was going to. 

 

Ryan leaned over his desk, turning everything on and pulling out some of his equipment. His watch buzzed with a text from Sara: _‘Meet me in my office for 5’_

He shrugged and rose, heading toward the door. Halfway across the office, he heard the door slam open. 

Shane barreled in, his face mostly obscured by the stack of painting supplies – and two gallons of paint – he had stacked in his long arms. 

Ryan opened his mouth to shout something, but it was too late. They crashed into each other hard, rollers, brushes, and paint trays flying through the space. The two gallons of paint – white primer and deep, steel blue paint, flew up as well. They crashed together, jarring the lids loose on both before they fell, covering both men with the thick, sticky goop. The primer can landed a few feet away, spilling white over the floor as it rolled to a stop, but the blue can smacked into Ryan’s shoulder, a shout slipping from his mouth as pain radiated across his back. 

“Ryan!” Steven shouted, rushing up to him. He tried to avoid the paint, but there was nowhere to grab on Ryan’s body that wasn’t coated in blue or white.

Shane wiped his own face off, reaching out to try and help with Ryan. “I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t see you, the cans—“

“I’m not _that_ short!” Ryan snapped, yanking off his shirt and trying to find a spot on it to wipe his face. 

“I know, the cans blocked my view, I’ll buy you a new outfit—I’m so sorry—“ Shane stuttered. 

“Jesus _Christ_ boy, what’s wrong with you this week?” A man’s voice came from behind Ryan. Shane shrank down again. 

“I don’t know, Dad.”

“Go fucking get cleaned up. And then clean up this mess. You’re lucky the floor is laminate – this would never come up from carpet,” the man – Shane’s dad, it seemed – snapped. Shane nodded, trudging out of the office, a path of blue footprints following behind him. 

The man stepped up to Ryan.

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll live,” Ryan muttered. 

“We all came ‘round today cause of all the trouble the boy’s been having – he’s not this incompetent normally.”

Ryan snorted, not wanting to badmouth the man’s son. Fury was bubbling in his stomach. A headache, a ruined outfit, _and_ now a sore shoulder? This was a fucking shit week. And if Shane was normally a good worker—

“It’s fine.”

“I’ll reimburse you for the cost of the outfit, I promise.”

“Doesn’t matter – these were old clothes anyway,” Ryan lied. “Steven, can you come with me to help me try and get the paint out of these? I’m gonna head home to get changed but I don’t wanna cover my car if I can help it.” 

Steven nodded, following him without question. Ryan knew he could manage to get himself cleaned up just fine, but he really didn’t want to risk running into Shane alone. Not until he could get to the bottom of this. If Shane really _was_ friends with Drake… There was no telling what could come next. 

 

Shane was, blessedly, not in the bathroom when Steven and Ryan entered. Steven scrubbed at the paint on his shirt while Ryan did his best to try and get it out of his hair and off his face. 

“My shoulder is killing me,” he grumbled, picking at a bit of blue on his jaw.

“It’s already bruising,” Steven agreed. A glance down proved he was right, a light grey bruise was spreading across Ryan’s shoulder, promising to be dark and painful by the day’s end.

“What are you thinking?” 

“I don’t know,” Ryan admitted, staring at his reflection in the mirror. “It seemed like an accident. I mean how do you plan for that?”

“It’s possible...”

“But the chances of it working out are really slim. I mean I’m a believer in fate and crazy coincidences too — but I don’t know. At this point I think my best bet is gonna be to confront the guy.”

“Shane?” 

Ryan nodded, taking his wrecked shirt back from Steven and holding it under the hand dryer. “Yeah, I mean... If Drake is behind this and told him anything about me, it would be that I’m a timid little bottom that cries at the sight of blood.”

“You _do_ get a little misty eyed when you get scared.” 

Ryan glared. “Beside the point. I’m just saying I’m not the same weak boy I was when he was with me. I’ve changed a lot - for the better, I think. The last thing Shane would expect would be a timid little man to confront him, right?”

“Makes sense,” Steven agreed. “At least let us be there. In case things get violent.” 

Ryan nodded once, pulling on his shirt once he was confident it was as dry as he could get it. “I’m doing it after work; I’ll stop him in the office. Let the others know.”

“Sure thing. Want me to walk you to your car?” Ryan shook his head. 

“Nah. I got this. I’ll see you guys in a bit, once I get cleaned up.” 

 

On the way out he texted Sara with what had happened, and promised he’d stop by the office when he got back to the office. 

Sara’s response formed an icy pit in Ryan’s stomach, panic spreading through his achy body like vines. 

_‘Drake called last night. Asking about you.’_


	6. Truths

When Ryan had gotten back to the office, he stopped in to see Sara before heading to work.   She was at her desk, working on what looked like an advertisement for a romantic film. 

“So Drake,” Ryan said, his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. She turned around. “He knows I don’t wanna talk to him, but with this Shane thing, I thought maybe it was a good idea.”

“I’m not mad that you talked to him, Sara. He’s your brother.”

“You’re my brother, Ryan. Not that douchebag. I’m not defending myself, I’m starting the story.” 

Ryan smiled a little and flopped into the other chair in her office. “Well, tell me a tale.” 

Sara chuckled. “He started normal. Asked how I was, how I was enjoying work — it really seemed like he was just trying to catch up with his baby sister. And then he asked how you liked the job.”

“How’d he even know I have a job with you?”

“Said a friend told him. Said that you were a good fit for it, cause you like film and he hoped you were okay. I kept telling him I wouldn’t talk about you, you had the restraining order.”

“And?” Ryan pressed. 

“And he said he didn’t care about a stupid sheet of paper. He said he _missed_ you and knew you’d wanna see him.”

The heavy weight, a heated blanket just this side of uncomfortable, nestled itself around Ryan’s heart, weighing it down and spreading out through his veins the more Sara spoke. His blood pounded in his ears, nausea threatening and then subsiding; teasing just enough to make Ryan want to cry. His breath wouldn’t come faster despite wanting it to, his slow, heavy heartbeat forcing his breathing to stay regulated, stay in the moment of his fear. 

Sara rose slowly, rubbing Ryan’s shoulders as he shivered, fighting the anxiety attack that threatened to swallow him whole.  
“What did you say?” He croaked, knowing the anticipation was worse than the knowledge could ever be. 

“I told him that you didn’t want to see him. And that if he came near you, we both knew the name and number of his parole officer. He uh... He said he’d be seeing me around, and hung up. I figured you should know. Just in case Shane--“

“I’m talking to Shane today.”

“Is that a good idea?” Sara worried. Ryan nodded, shrugging her hands off his shoulders. 

“Yeah. It is. I’m sick of this. I’ll do it after work. In the office, so everyone will be there to back me up. I need to get to the bottom of this.”

Sara sighed and nodded as he stood up. “I’ll be around too. I can’t be there today - I have to leave at one for a meeting, but... Text me after, okay?”

“Sure. Thank you Sara.”

She nodded as he walked out of the room.

***

The most important thing about being brave is showing it. Ryan learned that early on. And the second most important thing is knowing how to show it - even if you didn’t feel it. If someone _saw_ you were brave, it wouldn’t matter if you really were. 

That was the theory Ryan went by as the work day drew closer to the end. The construction crew began filing out around four, leaving Shane and one of the women behind to finish. She left soon after, making it clear Shane was on clean up duty as a punishment for his earlier accident. 

 

Ryan rose when he saw Shane rise, beginning to pack up his belongings. He glanced at his friends who were all keeping a wary eye on them on case they needed to step in. He stepped in front of Shane, blocking his path. He crossed his arms and set his expression, hoping to look intimidating despite the height difference. Shane’s eyes widened.

“I’m so sorry. Again — about this whole week, pretty much. I’m such a—“

“Drake.”

Shane’s brows furrowed. “I’m sorry, I’m Shane. I—“ 

“Do you know Drake Rubin?” 

Shane blinked dumbly for a moment. “No. Should I?”

“Why are you trying to hurt me if you’re not friends with him?”

“You—What? Trying to hurt you? No—Ryan, I’d never.” Shane laughed, shaking his head. “I don’t know anyone named Drake. Hell, I only know your name is Ryan because I’ve heard your friends around the office saying it. I swear, I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“Four accidents in three days is a _real_ strong coincidence, Stretch. Even if you don’t know Drake – you got something against Asians or something?” Zack asked.

Shane’s eyes bulged, looking at Ryan like this was the first time he’d actually noticed he wasn’t Caucasian.

“No! I’m not—I—I swear to you, I’m not a racist. I’m just a fucking handyman. Even if I was trying to hurt someone – do you really think _I_ would be clever enough to make them look like accidents? I mean the water in the outlet?”

Ryan stood a little taller. “If you just sucked this bad at your job you’d be fired by now.”

“I _don’t_ , normally. Look, my Dad owns the company. I grew up in this life.”

“Well you fucking suck at it,” Andrew grumbled.

“I swear I don’t. My Dad would kick my ass and fire me in a heartbeat if I didn’t know what I was doing. I just—“ Shane sighed softly, defeated, and hung his head.

“Just what?” Andrew snapped. Ryan raised his hand to quiet his friend, staring hard at Shane. He was doing that small thing again, hands clasped in front of his stomach and shoulders hunched down.

“Shane. Dude, I don’t know you. So this is definitely an overshare. But I have been _really_ fucking freaking out over this. If you know my ex, if you’re sleeping with him or – He convinced you to do this, please tell me. If he didn’t – I’m gonna need a better explanation than just because.”

“Drake is your ex?” Shane asked softly. Ryan shrugged and nodded. His eyes darted toward the others before he sighed. “Look—I’ve been so klutzy lately because you distract me, okay? I keep trying to look at you and impress you and learn more about you so maybe—But it keeps going wrong and I end up hurting you. I’m not incompetent or stupid. I just kinda like you. I promise, I’m not trying to scare you or hurt you. And I don’t know your ex.”

It was Ryan’s turn to blink owlishly at Shane, his arms dropping to his sides. “You—You almost killed me multiple times because you were distracted by my _looks_?”

Shane winced when Ryan raised his voice, smiling sheepishly. “I was actually gonna ask you out for coffee today…. And then I dumped paint all over you and was too embarrassed.”

Ryan laughed – a sharp bark that startled everyone in the room. “You—Okay, so you’ve nearly killed me this week because you want to ask me on a fucking date.”

“I know, it’s stupid. I’m sorry, Ryan. I seriously have no idea who this Drake guy is, but I can see whoever he is—It’s messed with you and I’m – God, I dragged all those memories up. I really didn’t mean to. To cause any of this.”

Ryan felt his heart swell at Shane’s heartfelt apology. He forced it down, determined not to get swept away blindly again. If he was being honest, the real reason he hadn’t dated since Drake was because he was scared. Other people not being intelligent enough was just a cover; it made him sound just arrogant enough that people left him alone, and he didn’t have to worry if his next partner was going to beat him. He wasn’t going to be a victim again if he could help it.

“I believe you, Shane,” Ryan said instead of accepting his apology.

“You do?” The two words echoed like a chorus across the room – all of his friends and Shane speaking in tandem.

“I do,” Ryan said, nodding. “He doesn’t know Drake. Drake wouldn’t use someone like him to get to me. I’m going home.” Ryan turned away and grabbed his things, trying his best to ignore the way Shane’s face sank.


	7. Coffee Date

Sara pulled Ryan into her office when he arrived the next day. “Dude, you look like shit.”

“Nightmares.”

“Drake?” 

Ryan nodded, rubbing his tired eyes. 

“So, Zack filled me in about Shane.”

“Klutzy not killer? Yeah.”

“Klutzy because he fucking has a crush on you – that’s _incredibly_ cute,” Sara said, excitement shining through in her voice. 

“He nearly killed me.”

“They were accidents. And I’m sure now that the cats outta the bag he’ll be better. And Zack said he sounded super upset about hurting you.”

“Yeah, better. Until his klutziness turns into worse accidents and I end up in the hospital. Or dead.” 

“He’s not Drake, Ryan.”

Ryan’s jaw twitched. “I know that, Sara.”

“And he doesn’t seem _bad_.”

“Sara—“

“I know. I know. It’s none of my business and not my place. But I’m your friend. When was your last date?”

Ryan shrugged, picking at a hole in the knee of his jeans. “No idea.”

“I know. Drake.”

“Sara, I’m not ready.”

“Bullshit. You’re scared. I get it, Ryan. I would be too. But you can’t keep cutting guys out of your life just because they _might_ turn out like Drake. You deserve to be happy.”

“And I don’t think I’m gonna be happy with a guy that can’t even fucking move a TV.”

“Fine. Whatever. Ignore a good guy just because you’re scared. I get that Drake hurt you and I’m sorry – but don’t hurt everyone else just because they like you. I’ve see you ignore so many people that could’ve been good for you. Give someone a _shot_ , Ryan, or you’re gonna end up miserable and alone.”

Ryan crossed his arms, staring anywhere but at Sara. “Can I go to work now?”

“Yeah, get outta here,” she grumbled, slumping down behind her computer.

*** 

Ryan scowled when he entered the office space. His friends were working, strangely quiet. Shane was off in the far corner of the new office, adding what looked like delicate vines over the window frame. 

The strangest thing, by far, was on Ryan’s desk, however. A vase with a handful of white flowers with pointed petals coming off a green base, intermixed with a few yellow roses and a single deep blue rose that nearly matched the walls of the office. A card hung from the vase. Ryan opened it. His nose tickled before he could read it, and he stepped back, sneezing hard.

“Seriously?” Came Shane’s strained voice from across the room. 

Ryan looked up. He was staring over, looking close to tears. A strangely endearing sight on a man as big as Shane, Ryan thought.   
“What?”

“I—You can throw ‘em out,” Shane grumbled, turning back to his work. Ryan scowled, looking down at the flowers. He opened the card, a smile curving his lips before he could hide it. 

_‘They don’t have sorry for almost killing you because I have a crush on you bouquets, so I hope this does the trick. If you’re ever up for that coffee—I promise I’ll watch where I’m walking. And putting my water.’_

“Why would I throw them out?” Ryan asked, raising his voice so Shane could hear him. 

“Aren’t you allergic? You sneezed. And honestly – it’d be just my luck.”

“Not allergic,” Ryan said, laughing a little. “Just a random coincidence. They’re pretty.”

Shane smiled softly and nodded. He turned back to his work. Ryan watched him for a few seconds before settling into his seat, pushing the vase to the side of his computer. He glanced over to where Andrew, Zack, and Steven were staring. 

“What?” He growled. 

They all jumped a little, turning back to their work like they hadn’t been caught. Ryan rolled his eyes and turned on his computer, his eyes flitting to the flowers more than once throughout the day. 

 

“I didn’t almost kill you today, as promised,” Shane said. Ryan glanced up from his computer, smiling a little at Shane. He was standing at the corner of Ryan’s computer, his hands speckled with black paint, hair tousled beyond repair. 

“You didn’t. I appreciate it.” 

Shane smiled wide. “So I uh... I know the probable answer, but... Would you, maybe wanna try grabbing a coffee? No commitment just... A coffee date.”

Ryan bit his lip, glancing at the flowers then at Shane. A huge part of him wanted to say yes, yes, a thousand times yes. But the other part of his heart, the wounded, scarred, stapled and stitched part - the part he was still fixing after so long with Drake - that part pleaded no. Not again. Please don’t hurt me again. 

“One coffee,” Ryan whispered. 

Shane’s grin grew impossibly wide. “Great. Where? I mean, you name the place.” 

“What about Penny’s? There’s one down the street that’s really good. At... Six, maybe?” 

Shane glanced at his watch and nodded. 

“I’ll be there. Thank you, Ryan. For giving me a chance.” 

Ryan smiled, a tight, forced smile. Already his stomach was twisting and rolling, threatening to force his lunch back up his throat. Even as Shane walked away and Steven whooped, clapping Ryan on the back, the knot didn’t loosen. 

He was a gentle man by nature. Ryan knew what nervous felt like. It was sweating palms and dry mouth, it was shaky giggles and goosebumps. This wasn’t nerves. This was unbridled terror rolling in his belly. 

*** 

‘ _Tell me how the date goes!!’_

Ryan scowled at his phone. Sara’s message was followed by a series of indiscernible emojis, a clear sign of her excitement.

‘ _How’d you even know?’_

‘ _The boys. Zack nearly wet himself he was so excited. Andrew’s grumpy about it, but you know how protective he is of all of us. I’m really glad you took my advice, Ryan.’_

That all too familiar panic dug its pinpoint nails into Ryan’s stomach and heart again. 

‘ _Yeah. Gotta go.’_

Ryan tossed his phone on the bed and stripped out of his clothes, staring into his closet. At this moment it looked more like the gaping maw of a demon, colorful teeth all promises of agony and death. It was coffee. One coffee date. It really shouldn’t have been so fucking terrifying. But one coffee could turn into one date, one drink, one night of sex. Which could just as easily turn into more. More of everything - including pain. 

Ryan’s heart pounded, the demon’s mouth opened wider, a crooked square grin of denim and cotton. He slammed the doors of the closet shut, taking a steadying breath. Making a snap decision, Ryan tugged on the sweatpants on the end of his bed and grabbed his fluffiest blanket, curling up on the couch to find something to binge watch on Netflix.


	8. Peer Pressure

“You didn’t text me,” Sara teased, leaning on the doorframe when Ryan tried to enter the office.

“Why would I?” Ryan mumbled, trying to get past her.

“Oh, come on. Spill. How was last night?”

Ryan sighed, staring up at the ceiling and wishing it would swallow him whole. “I lounged around in my sweats eating popcorn and watching Netflix.”

“I mean the _date_ , idiot. Unless you got laid, then I don’t—“ Sara’s smile faded when Ryan’s expression didn’t change. “He stood you up, didn’t he?” She asked softly.

Ryan shrugged. “Don’t know. I didn’t go.”

“You stood _him_ up? Ryan, how could you?”

“Because I’m not ready, Sara. Please, just drop it.”

“Ryan—“ Sara sighed as Ryan pushed past her and walked into the office. It was pointless to argue when he got in these moods.

Ryan held his bag tighter, half dreading seeing Shane. What he saw first, however, made his heart do a little flip before clenching. On his desk was a large coffee and a plate with a rather delicious looking fluffy pastry. He snagged the note next to the coffee.

_‘Sorry!_

_Sometimes I come on too strong – it’s not fair to you. Have some strong coffee instead, maybe. It’s a little easier on the eyes (and palate!)_

  * _Shane’_



Shane’s number was written in a p.s., along with the assurance that Ryan didn’t need to call – he just wanted to give it in case. Ryan looked around, guilt overpowering any fear he had in that moment. His smile faded when he realized the new office space was completely empty.

“He went home,” Steven said. Ryan glanced over.

“Who?”

“You know who. He figured you wouldn’t want to see him after what you did. Man—You’re my best friend but why the hell did you think standing the guy up was a good idea?”

“How’d you know I stood him up?”

“The poor guy was waiting at the coffee shop for two hours, Ryan,” Andrew said. He sighed and shook his head. “The guy might be an idiot but that’s not okay to do to anyone. Dude --“

“I panicked, okay!” Ryan snapped. “I couldn’t even get dressed! I’m just fucking _scared_.” He grabbed his bag and coat, throat closing as he fought tears of embarrassment. It was bad enough that he’d _done_ it, but all of his friends knew, and didn’t even try to understand his point.

“Ryan, wait—“ Andrew called when Ryan headed toward the door, “Don’t go.”

“Fuck you,” Ryan muttered, not really meaning it. His entire body shook, cheeks red and vision blurring.

“Come on, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell,” Andrew rose and grabbed Ryan’s shoulder, stopping him. “I’m sorry. I get it, you’re still in a weird place with that ex of yours. I don’t know how it feels, but I can imagine. I just—You should have seen him, Ryan. He was heartbroken.”

Ryan glared at the floor. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

“But is hurting him worth that? I mean—I know you don’t wanna get hurt, I know you’re scared. So does he, actually.”

Ryan’s head snapped up.

“My bad,” Steven muttered.

“What the hell did you tell him?” Ryan hissed.

“Not a lot. I swear. We just found him at the shop and he asked why you seemed to hate him and if maybe he reminded you of that ex of yours. I said you probably didn’t, and that ex was a lot of trouble, but you were just scared after what he did. I guess he musta looked up the case after, cause he mentioned it when he dropped off the coffee.”

Ryan buried his face in his hands, completely overwhelmed.

“Hey, are you okay?” Andrew asked, his tone quiet. He rubbed Ryan’s shoulders when Ryan shook his head.

“Not really.” He slumped into his chair, looking forlornly at the gifts from Shane. “The worst thing is that I really _do_ like this guy. I did from day one. He’s cute and he’s funny… But that’s the problem. I thought Drake was too when I first met him. It’s stupid that I can’t get over it, but—“

“Did Drake ever buy you breakfast?” Zack asked. Ryan laughed a little sadly, shaking his head.

“Not like this.”

“How about flowers?”

“Nah. Not unless he wanted to show everyone else what a caring boyfriend he was.”

Zack nodded, shrugging. “Maybe that’s your answer. You’re scared but… Shane’s trying to be a good guy. He’s already showing you he’s different than Drake. You should give him another shot if you really like him.”

“What if I freak out again? Do what I did last night? Andrew’s right – I don’t wanna hurt him just because I’m scared of getting hurt myself.”

“What if we were around?” Steven suggested. “So it’s less of a date and more of just getting to know him in a safe space.”

“Bring my friends on a date?” Ryan asked incredulously.

“No. It’s Friday – We go out to the bar on Friday’s anyways. Why don’t we just invite him?”

Ryan chewed his lip, glancing at the note with Shane’s number and then to his friends. “You won’t let me freak out, right?”

“I’ll be at your house after work to help you dress,” Steven offered. “And we’ll get a car together. We’ll be there to support you. And get to know this guy.”

“One bad feeling, and we’ll side with you, we promise,” Andrew said.

“Dude… You need to try. You’re a good person, Ryan. You deserve to find someone,” Zack said, crossing his arms.

Ryan took a steadying breath. He grabbed his phone and the note, typing in Shane’s number and a text, apologizing for the coffee shop, thanking him for the food, and asking him for drinks. He hesitated before pressing send.

“It’s a good idea, right?” He asked no one in particular.

“Do you like him, Ryan?” Zack asked.

“I just said I did.”

“Then it’s a good idea.”

Ryan pressed send before he could talk himself out of it. Shane’s response came a few minutes later.

_‘I don’t know, I’m not big on partying—sorry’_

Ryan’s shoulders slumped a little. “He said no,” he muttered. Zack reached over the desks and grabbed his phone, scowling. He began typing quickly, ignoring Ryan’s protests to get the phone back. He pressed send and tossed it back to Ryan, chuckling when he fumbled for a second before catching it and reading what Zack had texted.

_‘Hey Shane – Zack here – look it’s not really a party – Ryan and the others – the three dudes in the office and Sara – we all go to the PaD after work on Fri’s. Just have a few drinks and hangout. Sometimes play some pool or darts – more of a relax thing than a get shitfaced thing. It’s cool if you don’t wanna go – but Ryan IS gonna be there no matter what, so there’s that – can’t stand you up. He wants to say sorry in person, ya know? Let us know. – Z’_

Ryan groaned, shaking his head. “Now he’s gonna think I’m desperate.”

“Oh why, cause your friend stole your phone?”

“Yeah!” Ryan shook his head and pushed his phone to the edge of his desk, trying his hardest to ignore it when it buzzed again and focus on the video he was editing.

Zack finally rolled his eyes, snagging the phone and dangling it between his fingers. “Passcode.”

“Fuck you.”

“No, it’s numbers.”

Ryan glared at him and grabbed the phone, thumbing it open and clicking the message. He read over it, his eyes flitting from the top to the bottom of the screen a few times, bottom lip worried between his teeth as he did so.

“So?” Steven pressed, leaning back in his chair to see.

“He uh… He says that a few drinks are okay, he isn’t much on getting wasted but wouldn’t mind coming by. He said he doesn’t wanna force me to see him… But if I’m really okay with it, he’ll be there… What’s the pad and what time.”

“He doesn’t know the Pair-a-Dice? Dude – is he legal age even?” Steven asked.

“Or maybe he’s just got taste,” Andrew teased. Steven glared playfully, throwing a balled up piece of paper at him.

“What’re you gonna say?” Zack asked, seeing Ryan’s thumbs hesitate over the screen.

Ryan ignored him, typing out a response and hitting send. He tossed his phone back on the desk and turned back to the computer, settling headphones over his ears to block out his friends. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Zack snag his phone before it locked, and smiled a little when Zack grinned, knowing he saw the message.

_‘Ryan again. You aren’t forcing me – it’s a good idea. Pair-a-Dice is the bar, and we always meet at 6:30. See you then.’_


	9. Safe Space

Ryan made a promise to himself that night that he would never let Steven dress him again. He had figured there couldn’t be _too_ much damage done; it was his closet and he only purchased clothes he liked anyways. He had never been so wrong in his life. 

Like or not; the short sleeved grey Henley was just a little too tight on Ryan’s arms; to which Steven said simply “duh”. And the jeans; of the twenty pairs of pants Ryan had in his closet, Steven managed to find the tightest, most form fitting jeans he could. Sure, they showed off Ryan’s assets — but really? Steven had only shushed him and ushered him into the bathroom to fix his hair. 

And now, even as he and Steven sat in the car on the way to the bar, Ryan felt that all too familiar panic begin to bubble up in his throat. He looked over at Steven, eyes wide. 

“What if it all goes wrong?” He murmured. 

“Then we’re right there with you. Trust your friends, Ryan. We got your back. If he’s a dick, we’ll stop it. If not - you’ve got a perfect way to figure it out.” 

Ryan nodded, staring out the window at the city flashing by. 

 

The Pair-a-Dice hadn’t changed in the three nights they’d been there last. The best - and worst - things never really did, it seemed. Steven and Ryan settled into seats at the table Andrew and Sara were already at, drinks in hand. 

The two were in a heated discussion about the formula of Pepsi, and what flavors could really be considered unique. Ryan tried to pay attention; he really did. But his eyes kept wandering to his watch, and then to the door. Zack showed up at six thirty exactly. When the clock turned to seven and Ryan’s heart began to sink. Sara reached over and grabbed his wrist. “It’s okay, man. At least you know now. Come on, let’s get another drink.” 

She led Ryan up to the bar, changing the subject abruptly to a video she was editing, asking for his opinion. Ryan tried to help, give advice; anything to get his mind off Shane. It wasn’t working. He felt like an idiot. Just when he let himself begin to feel even a _little_ hopeful — he got crushed. 

The two arrived back to the table just as Zack made a whooping noise, smacking the worn wood. 

“They’re boning!” He shouted at Sara and Ryan, pointing to Steven and Andrew. Though they both rolled their eyes, Steven had the sense to look at least partially embarrassed. 

“When did that happen?” Sara asked.

“We’re not boning. Our first date was last night,” Andrew argued.

“That’s how you found Shane,” Ryan said, connecting the pieces. Steven nodded. 

“You know, dating coworkers is a bad idea,” Sara teased.

“It’s not like we’re flaunting it. We’re keeping it politely quiet,” Steven argued.

“Bull. The whole building will know by the end of the week. I mean your whole office space already knows,” Sara said.

“That’s a pretty weak argument considering our whole office space consists of myself, the guy I’m dating, and two other men sitting with us right this second. Plus you,” Andrew said. Sara pushed her lips out, considering before nodding.

“Valid. Still. Just be smart about it.”

Zack nudged Ryan. “So, about Shane…”

“It was my fault, man. I stood him up, he’s doing the same. I don’t wanna talk about it,” Ryan grumped.

“Or, what if he’s just incredibly, _un_ fashionably late?”

“It’s seven-fifteen.”

Zack’s face brightened as he grinned, nodding his head toward the door. Ryan turned quickly, his heart doing an embarrassing little flip.

Shane was scanning the bar. He looked like he’d _tried_ to put himself together; he had on a pair of tight dark blue jeans and a comfortable looking red and black flannel under a jean jacket. His hair was – as usual – a mess, looking like it hadn’t seen the teeth of a comb in at least a week. He spotted Ryan and grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners. He waved at Ryan and headed over, tugging off his jacket as he walked. He hung it on the back of the chair between Ryan and Sara, touching Ryan’s shoulder.

“I’m so fucking sorry I’m late. I got into a movie and totally lost track of time.”

“What movie?” Ryan asked.

Shane chuckled. “Don’t laugh at me. Star Wars.”

“Which one?”

“The original. I’ve seen them all a thousand time probably, but—“

“I wouldn’t laugh at that. Man after my own heart,” Ryan said, his face burning when he realized what he’d said. Shane just smiled and nodded.

“Good to know.”

“Uh—Um. Why don’t you get a drink?”

“Sure. Can I get you another?” He asked, pointing to Ryan’s glass.

“Sure.”

“What are you drinking?”

“Oh uh—Old—Old fashioned.”

Shane grinned. “Good deal.” He walked off and Sara made a small noise.

“He’s so polite,” she whispered.

“He’s a fuckin’ dork,” Andrew said, though there was no venom in his voice.

Ryan ignored them both, opting instead to watch Shane as he walked across the length of the bar. It wasn’t a crowded night, though it was fuller than a weeknight. The weekend brought the young crowd, and they were milling about, dancing and laughing. As Ryan watched, he realized just how _different_ it felt with Shane in this light. Drake’s element was situations like this. He exuded confidence and a natural charm in bars and clubs that naturally drew people to him. He was a little shorter than Shane, but there was something about him. It drew people – especially those that were desperate or lonely like Ryan had been that fateful night – to him like moths to a flame.

Shane, on the other hand, despite his size and striking features, seemed to blend in with the crowd. He slipped through unnoticed, apologizing and smiling apologetically to those that ended up in his path. There was a gentle air around him, not one that shunned those nearby, but one that comforted them and allowed him to pass almost unseen.

“You still nervous?” Steven asked, pulling Ryan out of his thoughts. He nodded, glancing over at Shane. He was leaned over the bar, speaking to the bartender with that soft, patient smile. Even the normally dickish bartender looked softer, a smile curving up his lips as he responded to what Shane was saying.

“I’m nervous still,” Ryan said, “but one step at a time, right?”

“You know. He’s got a cute butt,” Sara said.

“Sara!” Ryan glanced back at Shane and made an involuntary noise. “Well, you’re not wrong. But still.”

“Still nothing. If you don’t get a handful of that before tonight’s over, I’ll push you in front of a car myself.”

Ryan laughed, surprised at her candid threat. “How drunk are you already?”

“I’m not. I just want you to grow some balls and get back into the dating scene. Especially since someone is so clearly into you.”

“I don’t know that sexual assault is a great start to getting into the dating scene, Sara.”

“Okay, ass grabbing is only assault if he actually hasn’t consented to it.”

The glass clunked in front of Ryan, startling him. Shane grinned. “Who’s assaulting whose ass now?”

“Well, you nearly killed him,” Zack said. “We were just saying a little sexual assault in the form of an ass grab is good payback.”

The grin widened and Shane settled into his seat. “Well, I don’t think so. That’s not even close to fair payback.”

“And why not?” Zack asked. Ryan groaned, burying his face in his arms.

“Well, I’d have no problem consenting to Ryan grabbing my ass. In fact I consent now – he’s free to grab anything on me he’d like.”

Ryan groaned again as his friends hooted, smacking the table. Shane laughed, rolling up his sleeves. He sipped at his beer, winking when Ryan dared to look up at him. He leaned over, keeping a respectful few inches from Ryan’s face, but close enough to whisper.

“You know you’re blushing… It’s kinda really fucking cute.”

Ryan’s face warmed even further. He looked over at Shane, heart swelling into his throat. He couldn’t let himself fall for this guy – not over cheesy flirting. Instead he forced himself to focus as Zack and Andrew discussed a video that Andrew was working on. Much to Ryan’s surprise, Shane focused as well, asking questions and inserting himself into the conversation. Though their eyes met occasionally and Shane offered soft smiles or flirtatious winks, he kept his focus spread evenly throughout the group.

As Ryan watched him, his mind drifted back to the first time he’d introduced Drake to his friend group so long ago. Though he’d given Drake fair warning; they’re crude, they’re just out of college, we’re just friends, they’re flirty – Drake seemed to take offense at every little thing. It felt like the drunker he got that night the worse it got, to the point that he began to speak for Ryan, hushing him whenever he’d say a sentence.

He wasn’t sure what he’d expected from Shane tonight, something similar, or worse; meeting in a bar was one of the most terrifying situations Ryan could have put himself in when he thought about it. His friends around him, and their promise to step in if things did go south, was the only reason he’d braved it this long.

Despite the little gnaw of tension in his gut, Ryan felt himself relaxing as the night went on. They kept a slow, steady pace on the alcohol, none getting completely drunk even as the night drew closer to an end. At one point, Sara convinced Shane to make Ryan dance; though neither of them knew how. The song was slow though, and there were plenty of couples already on the floor of the bar, so they managed to blend in, just swaying to the music.

Shane’s flannel, which had been looking more and more comfortable each passing minute, proved to be exactly as soft and perfect as Ryan had imagined as he rested his cheek on it, listening to the quick beat of Shane’s heart. He’d forgotten how _nice_ another person felt. Especially when said person was connected to strong, gentle arms, and a firm embrace… Rather than fists aimed to kill.

It was twelve-thirty and Ryan had that warm, fuzzy feeling in his belly. It wasn’t just from the whiskey, though he’d never admit it. Shane’s hand, resting on his knee, thumb tracing nonsense patterns did a lot to help that feeling. They were sitting again, Sara and Zack across from them. Steven and Andrew had slipped out a while before, making a ridiculous excuse that everyone was pretty sure was code for ‘we’re going to have sex now’ – not that they’d ever press the subject. Those two had been flirting for months – it was nice to see them finally do something about it. Ryan was listening to Sara and Shane talk about the construction on the office, feeling his eyes begin to get heavy.

“I should get home,” he grumbled, digging his phone out of his pocket and requesting an Uber.

“Want me to come with?” Shane offered. Ryan smirked.

“Make sure the damsel gets home safe?” He teased, a little surprised at the lack of anger – or even real reaction from Shane, other than a soft smile.

“I’ve seen the size of your arms, Ryan. I’m thinking if it came to a fight, _you_ would be saving _me_. Selfishly, I’d just like to spend a little more time with you, if you want to.”

Ryan bit his lip, glancing at Zack and Sara. She grinned, nodding. Zack winked at Ryan, a smirk on his lips. Ryan took a nervous breath. “If you wanna, I guess. But I’m not a one night stand, Shane. Just so you know.”

“I’d be really fucking disappointed if you were honestly. My interest goes a little deeper than that.”

That warm and fuzzy feeling increased, and Ryan nodded. “Well my car is coming in five minutes. I gotta pee…”

“I’ll be here.”

“Unless you need him to hold it for you,” Zack teased.

“I will break this over your head,” Ryan threatened, brandishing his glass before swallowing the last bit of whiskey and standing. He took a second to assess, pleasantly surprised that he didn’t feel too tipsy at all.

When he emerged from the bathroom, Ryan leaned on one of the pillars for a moment, watching Shane across the room. He was speaking animatedly, waving his hands. Sara’s head was thrown back in laughter and Zack was leaning across the table, his own hands gesticulating just as aggressively. All three wore broad grins, telling Ryan there was nothing angry about the discussion, though he couldn’t hear a word of it. He let the time pass, watching his friends – watching _Shane_ – and waiting. His phone buzzed, signaling his car’s arrival, surprised that Shane hadn’t sought him out. Drake wouldn’t leave him for more than a minute or two, even if he did have to use the bathroom.

He rounded the pillar and set his hands on Shane’s shoulders. “My car’s here – you still wanna come?”

Shane looked back and grinned. “Definitely.” He turned to Sara and Zack. “Sorry—We can finish this later?”

“Sure. We’ll see you Monday anyway.”

“Remind me to give you my number then, we can set something up,” Shane said to Zack. He nodded.

“Course. Have fun.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Sara teased.

Ryan rolled his eyes as they walked out and climbed into the car. He settled in just a little too close to Shane. And as the car headed toward his apartment and Shane’s hand found his knee once again, the gnawing in his stomach finally settled to a quiet growl, and a small burst of excitement settled in the void it created. A smile spread across his face in the darkness. Just… _Maybe._


	10. Stop (And Go)

“So, movie?” Shane asked when they got up to Ryan’s apartment. Ryan nodded, kicking his shoes off. That old friend Panic returned as they stepped past the threshold of his apartment, irrational fear that Shane was just going to grab him and choke the life out of him, or worse. But Shane kept a respectful distance as soon as they’d entered the apartment, hands hanging loose at his sides. 

“Sure, what are you into?”

“You can pick. I’m curious where your tastes lie.” 

Ryan’s eyes narrowed, but Shane just grinned. “I mean, unless you wanna watch a Disney movie or something. I have to be in a mood to watch cartoons.”

Ryan laughed despite himself and nodded.  “Not too into cartoons unless I’m sick. Then I turn into a giant baby.”

“Good to know.” 

“How about horror or sci-fi?”

“Either, I like ‘em both.”

“You’re no help.” 

Shane laughed and shrugged. “Something without jump scares, how about that?” 

“Narrows it down. Legit scary or cheesy scary?”

“It’s... All cheesy scary,” Shane said, his brows furrowing.

“What? There are some terrifying horror movies.”

“It’s all fake, Ryan,” Shane argued. A horrified expression crossed his face. “Oh God, you don’t—You don’t believe in ghosts and shit, do you?” He hissed.

“You don’t?”

Shane snorted. “No. That’s the stupidest idea.”

It was Ryan’s turn to look horrified. He grabbed Shane and turned him, pushing him toward the door. “This was a mistake. We can’t be together if you’re not a believer. Nope.”

They both began to laugh and Shane turned around, grinning.

“Seriously though, go pick one you think is terrifying. See if it can scare me.”

Ryan glared playfully. “Do you like popcorn?” 

“Only about as much as I like breathing,” Shane said. 

“Go make us some?” Ryan pointed to the kitchen before heading to grab his DVD binder. 

When Shane returned to the living room with the popcorn Ryan had changed into a pair of sweats and a tank top, cuddling under a warm looking blanket on the couch. 

“So what are we watching?”

“Exte.”

“What the hell is that?”

“It’s a Japanese film. I hope you don’t mind subtitles. It’s fucking scary as hell.”

“Have they made an American version?” Ryan shook his head, letting Shane settle onto the small couch with him. 

“Nope, part of why it’s so good. Most people haven’t seen it.”

“So, what is it?”

“Just watch and find out,” Ryan said, grabbing a few pieces of popcorn. “If this doesn’t scare you, you don’t have a soul.”

“Well, it’s been said. Press play,” Shane said, kicking his shoes off and settling back. 

 

If Shane was even a _little_ scared, he didn’t show it. He stayed on his side of the couch, munching on popcorn and watching the movie. He was clearly interested, but not frightened. 

Ryan, on the other hand, was well beyond terrified before forty minutes had passed. He began to slide a little closer to Shane, eventually moving the popcorn to the coffee table and giving into his fear. Shane only smiled, letting Ryan wiggle against his side. They didn’t say anything when Shane slung an arm casually over Ryan’s shoulders and brought the popcorn onto his lap so they could both still reach it. And if Ryan buried his face in that warm and cozy flannel a few times, they didn’t make a big deal out of that either. 

 

When the film ended, Ryan turned to Shane for his verdict. Shane shrugged. 

“That was pretty good.”

“Pretty good?!”

“Well, I mean it was possessed hair extensions, Ryan. I certainly wasn’t wetting my pants.”

“No soul.” 

Shane grinned and popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth. “Just gotta try again next time.” 

Ryan rolled his eyes, his own lips curving into an easy smile. He snagged the remote and settled back into the spot under Shane’s arm, a little surprised at how damn comfortable the situation felt.

He flipped randomly through his few channels, finding nothing of interest. 

“Got Netflix?” Shane asked. Ryan nodded. He got it started and passed the remote to Shane. 

“You pick.”

Shane flipped through, finally settling on Pet Sematary. “Not too scary?” He teased. Ryan grinned.

“Ass. No, not too scary. Zombies are unlikely to exist.” 

“I love that you say unlikely and not impossible.” 

“There was that dude in Florida!” Ryan argued.

“Drugs, Ryan. That was drugs.” 

Ryan frowned and grunted softly. “Okay, valid,” he conceded, “but! You never know. I mean, I don’t know--“

“I can say with ninety-nine percent confidence that zombies aren’t gonna eat your brain, Ryan.”

“Well, so am I. But it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

“Now you sound like an idiot,” Shane teased. Ryan grinned helplessly, punching him in the side and turning his attention back to the television. 

They sat in silence, hands brushing as they reached into the bowl. Ryan could feel Shane’s eyes flitting to him every few moments. Though this would normally set Ryan on edge - and it did a little, in the more traditional way - a was there food on his face way, but it wasn’t the crippling terror he was used to.

When Shane reached over and plucked a piece of popcorn from Ryan’s shirt, he smiled softly. It grew wider, and his cheeks a little pinker, when Shane slipped the popcorn into  Ryan’s mouth, his long fingers lingering on the swell of Ryan’s bottom lip for a moment. Their gazes locked, and Ryan’s world narrowed to a pinpoint of _Shane_. The sound from the television faded out, Shane’s quick breathing a roar in the room.

“Can I kiss you, Ryan?” He whispered. Ryan wet his lips, heart pounding a mile a minute even as he gave a small nod of approval. He was afraid, for a moment, he would be sick, his stomach doing a nervous little flip. He swallowed his nerves, remaining still when Shane place a chaste, almost playful kiss against his lips. 

Shane’s cheeks were just beginning to get scratchy but his lips were soft, sliding over Ryan’s until they slotted together perfectly. And that’s where they stayed until Ryan relaxed into the kiss.

Shane pulled back just long enough to move the bowl and press closer to Ryan before pressing their mouths together again - this time with real intent. 

It had been a long time since Ryan was able to just make out with someone. Without fear of pain or someone requiring _more_. And Shane - Shane was perfect. His hands cupped Ryan’s face without pulling or forcing, and his thumbs brushing Ryan’s jaw tickled and teased, raising goosebumps over Ryan’s skin. 

Shane tasted like whiskey and popcorn, and when Ryan caught quick breaths he could smell an undercurrent of Shane’s cologne: a woodsy, citrusy scent that went straight to Ryan’s head — both upstairs and downstairs. He shifted his hips, the soft material of his sweats brushing teasingly over his cock as it hardened. He wanted to see if Shane was in the same predicament; with those jeans — but he didn’t want to break the kiss, afraid it would break the tentative comfort he’d settled into. 

His lips were going numb and his heart was thudding in his throat, white sparks behind his closed eyelids at the decrease of oxygen for so long. But Shane tasted so good, and when his tongue brushed over Ryan’s it was electric; it was _perfect._ Ryan slid his hand down from Shane’s bicep to his lap, his cheeks heating up at the warm, solid bulge of his cock. Shane sighed against his mouth, breaking the kiss when Ryan’s fingers fumbled with his belt. 

Ryan fell forward, his lips parted and swollen. It took him a few seconds to realize Shane was pushing him away, shoving his hands off his lap and putting a few inches between their bodies. A fresh wave of panic and hurt washed over him. “I’m sorry,” Ryan whispered.

“No,” Shane smiled, shaking his head. “Don’t misunderstand me, I _want_ this. But... We drank a lot tonight.”

“I’m not drunk, Shane. I’m old enough to know how much I can handle.”

“I know, I’m not drunk either. But the first time I have sex with you - if you want to go that far - I want us both to be one hundred percent sober.”

Ryan furrowed his brows. “Dude that was hours ago.”

“Maybe. And maybe I’m being dumb,” Shane admitted. He bit his lip, glancing down. “But I really fucking like you, Ryan. And I know you’ve gone through some shit. I looked up Drake and the trial -- Of course there’s not a whole lot but there was some. I’m sure what _wasn’t_ in the papers is worse. I’m better than him. Honestly I’m sure a pile of mud is better than him so that’s not high praise for myself, but you get my point. I want to take you on a real date, at least once. And I want you to be able to wake up next to me in the morning and look over and not think oh fuck what did I do. I want you to be sure.”

Ryan swallowed hard, his heart thudding in his chest for a whole new reason. He hung his head, feeling a little silly for pushing, and entirely floored by Shane’s words. He knew he was mostly sober, but there was the lingering taste of whiskey in his own mouth, and from Shane’s. He was still warm and relaxed, the after effects of the alcohol. He’d needed it to get past this first sort of date, but Shane had a good point. Would he be okay with this in the morning - _sober_? He nodded and looked up at Shane.

“Thanks.”

“Never have to thank me for just being a good person,” Shane said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Ryan’s forehead. “Do you want me to go?”

“Honestly... I haven’t been this hard in a _very_ long time. So um... If I can speak candidly...”

“You wanna come,” Shane finished. Ryan laughed a little and nodded. 

Shane’s bottom lip disappeared between his teeth again, his eyes narrowing in thought. Ryan mimicked the expression instinctively, trying to figure out what Shane could be thinking so hard about. 

“I don’t want to have sex tonight but we could, if you wanted-- Do something else.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Got porn?” 

Ryan laughed at the absurdity of the question, a sharp barking sound. 

“I’m serious,” he said.

“What do you intend to do with it?”

“Well I’m hard too. Let’s jerk off together. Less of a chance you’ll hate me tomorrow, right?”

“You wanna _jerk off_ together? Are we in middle school?”

Shane smirked, closing the gap between them and pressing an almost chaste kiss to Ryan’s neck. “I promise you I’m certainly more experienced than I was in middle school...” he pulled back to meet Ryan’s gaze. “But I don’t see any problem in being a little innocent when there’s so much at stake.”

Ryan swallowed hard, his eyes flitting down to Shane’s mouth. He _was_ as hard as a rock, even through their conversation, and a quick glance at Shane’s lap proved he was in the same predicament. And the idea of jerking off together, so close without the ability to _take_ \-- It was sexy in its own way. Just a little taboo, fun and flirty and new. 

“I’ll grab my laptop,” Ryan whispered.

 

Shane was really too polite for his own good, Ryan realized. They were side by side on the couch, legs and shoulders touching. Their pants were off, leaving them in just their boxers and shirts. Ryan’s laptop was open on the coffee table. 

Even as the bottom on screen was filled with the thick, bare cock of his partner, Shane’s cock remained tucked away. His hand was down the front of his boxers, and Ryan could see him sliding it slowly over the outline of his erection. There was no way he was gonna enjoy himself that way. Biting back the worry that bubbled up, Ryan pulled his cock free, wiggling his boxers down over his thighs. He didn’t miss Shane’s glance, or the lingering looks when he began to stroke himself, slow and steady. 

Even as the video on screen reached its peak, the bottom begging to be filled, Shane’s cock remained hidden. Feeling entirely silly at this point, Ryan threw caution to the wind. If Shane was going to make this difficult, so be it. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Shane’s neck. 

“Can I see it?”

Shane swallowed audibly. He complied, finally, and pushed his shorts down to his thighs as well. 

Ryan’s ass clenched and his cock twitched against his palm. Another dribble of precome escaped, running down the side of his hand. Shane’s cock was thick and long, curved a little to the left and wide at the base. He slid his long fingers over the underside, lifting it off his belly and giving a little squeeze at the tip to coax out another dribble of precome.

“You’re a fucking giant,” Ryan murmured without thinking.

Shane chuckled, his face reddening slowly. “Just my height making it look that way,” he mumbled. 

Sensing Shane’s embarrassment, Ryan clarified. “Didn’t mean it as a bad thing. D’you know how many guys would die to feel a dick like that?” He reached over, curling his own fingers around the base and giving a firm stroke. 

Shane’s hips jerked off the couch, a broken gasp slipping from his lips. Encouraged, Ryan continued to stroke him, twisting his wrist and thumbing over the steadily leaking slit. 

Shane continued to writhe, his fingers first grabbing and digging into Ryan’s thigh. His hand found its way to Ryan’s own aching cock at the same time his mouth found Ryan’s again. 

When the video ended, neither noticed. They were focused entirely on one another, fists pumping in almost perfect rhythm. They kissed and nibbled, finding pulse points and sharing air as each fought to hold on, _focus_.

Shane bit down on Ryan’s earlobe, smirking against his skin when it earned him a quiet whimper.

“Noises sound so sexy, Ryan,” he murmured. “This what you sound like in bed?” 

Ryan moaned openly, his hips jerking up to meet Shane’s fist. 

Shane laughed, keeping up the speed. “You’d look so fuckin’ nice riding me, you know. Holding me down and taking what you need.” 

Ryan whimpered Shane’s name. He stopped stroking Shane’s cock, his hands now balled into tight fists on his thighs. 

“Bet you could take every inch. Open right up and twist — yeah, just like that,” he coaxed when Ryan’s body jerked, hips twisting up to get a better angle in Shane’s fist. 

“Yeah, just taking what you need until you come— You gonna come for me, baby?” 

Ryan gritted his teeth, head falling back on the couch. He nodded quickly. 

“Please,” Shane murmured, his lips against Ryan’s neck once more. “Please lemme watch you come. Let it out, Ryan. Take your pleasure.”

Ryan wasn’t sure if the scream that ripped from his throat was Shane’s name, but it was certainly the only thought in his mind when he came. He could hear Shane’s soft moans and praises, the heat of his come slicked hand right and too much. Still he stroked, working Ryan down from his orgasm until Ryan whimpered, shaking his head. 

He forced his eyes open a crack when Shane’s hand disappeared, watching him grab himself instead. Ryan’s come still covered his hand, slicking the way as he stroked his own cock hard and fast.  His head was hung, moaning Ryan’s name like a prayer. His entire body stiffened when he came, his fingers tight around the shaft. Even in his blissed state, Ryan could see the throb of Shane’s cock as it spilled thick and white, and his stomach gave a little flip, trying to get aroused again. 

The two slumped together, blissed out and relaxed as they recovered from their orgasms, sharing lazy kisses and touches.

“I should go home,” Shane finally murmured, his nose buried in the crook of Ryan’s neck.

“Could stay the night. Sleep on the couch if you didn’t wanna risk it.”

Shane chuckled. “Honestly, Ryan-- With you it’d still be a risk. I didn’t even mean for us to touch each other tonight - I mean like that.”

Ryan sat back, meeting Shane’s gaze. “You regret it?”

“Not even a little. You?”

He smiled, shaking his head no. “But I see your point about losing control. When will I see you again?”

“You wanna?” Shane’s voice was hopeful, almost childlike. 

“Yeah.”

“Well tomorrow I have to spend the day at the shop with my dad. Saturdays are pretty much gonna be no-go’s for dates a lot of the time. But Sunday I’m free. So... We could go to a real restaurant and see how things go, if you want.”

“I’d really like that,” Ryan agreed, nodding. 

Shane sat up, grabbing one of the paper towels he’d originally brought for the popcorn, and used it to wipe up Ryan and then himself. They dressed in a comfortable silence, and Shane tugged his coat on. 

“Call me, okay? Or text me. If you wanna.”

“Yeah, I’ll at least say hi tomorrow,” Ryan promised.

Their mouths met in a soft kiss and Shane smiled. “Thank you, Ryan. For giving me a shot.”

“Thanks for not hating me after I stood you up.” Shane’s smile grew as he walked out the door.

 

Ryan cleaned up the living room quietly, doing everything he could to keep his mind busy. He refused to let his worries ruin this. Not when it had gone so well. Shane was respectful and kind and tonight had been _fun_ above everything else.

He settled onto the couch, feeling a blush rise to his face when he stretched out and could still smell a lingering of Shane’s cologne. His phone buzzed and he grabbed it without thinking, assuming it was one of his friends or even Shane. He saw the ‘unknown’ first and scowled, opening the message.

 

_‘January 24_

_C u soon’_

 

Ryan scrambled into a sitting position, the cold chill rushing over him causing a sick, faint feeling. January twenty-fourth was three days from now. And the day that Ryan and Drake had had their first date so long ago.


	11. Free Will

Sunday night was fast approaching. Shane and Ryan had texted on and off throughout Saturday, making plans and generally just getting to know one another a little better. Ryan had tried to put the ominous text message out of his mind; there had been no others to follow it. He’d screen capped it and sent it to Sara and Steven, asking what they thought. A big part of him wanted to respond, say wrong number, ask who it was – but he wasn’t sure. If it _was_ who he feared it was, any sort of response could just make things worse. Sara and Steven thought the same. Delete it, they’d both suggested, and pretend it never happened. If they text again, we’ll deal with it then. Focus on your date, and _don’t_ back out.

And Ryan was determined not to. That night as he stretched out in bed, still feeling delightfully relaxed and loose from the orgasm earlier, he realized just how much he’d let Drake hold him back, even from behind bars. That night was the first night in a _very_ long time he’d just let himself be _himself_ and fuck it if things didn’t work out the way they were planned. And Sunday was a chance to try again. He wasn’t going to let one cowardly text message stop that, even if it was from Drake. 

So Sunday afternoon Ryan went for a run, and early in the evening he showered and cleaned himself up – _just_ in case. He dressed comfortable but neat, and no one was around to laugh when he made sure his butt looked good in the jeans he chose. 

He called a car to bring him to the restaurant address Shane had texted him, his heart in his throat. The nerves weren’t because he was afraid of being stood up, or even so much that he was afraid of being hurt. He _was_ , of course, he figured that fear would always linger thanks to the trauma that Drake had caused. But this was almost a fun anxiety. The excitement of a real date and the nerves about how the night would end. A kiss, a laugh, more? 

Ryan only hesitated for a second when he reached the doors of the restaurant, _run_ flitting through his mind. He set his jaw and pushed open the doors, smiling warmly at the hostess. 

“You here for the tall guy?” She asked, smirking. Ryan chuckled. 

“How’d you know?”

“He asked me to keep an out for a handsome black-haired guy. I’ll take you to him.” Ryan’s smile grew. He followed her back, taking the menu she offered. 

“Anniversary?”

“No, our first real date actually,” Ryan said. 

She nodded. “Never would’ve guessed. You two are a good match.”

“What makes you say that?” 

She shrugged. “I see lots of couples. Blind dates, unfaithful ones, golden couples, high school loves. I’ve got a pretty good eye for the ones that’ll last. You just wait.” She nodded her head to where Ryan spotted Shane sitting, his head down as he wrote rapidly in a small notebook. Ryan sat down.

“Journaling?” He teased. Shane looked up and grinned.

“You made it.”

“Well, I considered standing you up again, but figured that was in bad taste.” 

They both laughed and Shane nodded. “I’m really glad you didn’t. I couldn’t get you outta my head honestly.” 

Ryan didn’t know what to say to that, but his burning face did a pretty good job of telling Shane anyways. “Did you order for me?” 

“What? No — I wasn’t sure what you liked,” Shane said.

“I guess not.” Ryan smiled softly at the simplicity of the answer. He glanced through the menu, making small talk with Shane about his day.

They ordered – two distinctly different meals, Ryan noticed. He had to smile a little at that; with Drake it was always what he wanted. Ryan had almost forgotten how to order for himself for a while after the relationship ended.

“So,” Shane said after they’d ordered and were waiting for their food, “why film?”

“Escape,” Ryan said honestly, playing with his napkin. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my life now. Even as a kid – grew up in a good home, had friends… But there was something about film that just… The _un_ reality of it. It was so cool. I wanted to be responsible for that, you know?”

Shane nodded. He was leaning forward, hands folded together in front of his mouth as he listened to Ryan talk, his dark eyes wide with interest. It was strange but nice, having someone so clearly interested and involved in what he was saying and what interested him. Ryan felt a surge of pride and pushed on, mentioning various things that interested him. He could have cried when Shane began to ask questions – wondering what certain film terms were or what type of movie Ryan was discussing.

And Ryan repaid the favor, trying his best to learn about the construction work that Shane did with his father. He really was passionate about it, though he expressed an interest in going back to school and maybe getting a history degree. This opened up a whole new field of discussion over dinner. Time passed without Ryan even really realizing it as they discussed true crime and history, horror movies and building houses. They ate their meals and shared a dessert, and Ryan didn’t even bother to protest when Shane paid for the meal.

“Did you drive?” Shane asked when the waitress returned his card.

“I took a car. Just in case we decided to drink.”

“Want me to drive you home?”

Ryan smiled a little and nodded. “As long as you don’t accidentally put us in a ditch.”

“I’m never gonna live the whole almost killing you thing down, am I?” Shane asked, standing and grabbing Ryan’s coat. He helped him into it and set an arm around Ryan’s middle. “Is this okay?”

“It’s perfect.” Ryan leaned into Shane, grinning at the hostess as they walked out. She smiled back, offering a wink as they passed.

Ryan’s heart was pounding a mile a minute when they pulled up to his apartment. Shane looked over, a soft, almost nervous smile on his face as well. “Want me to walk you up?”

“Or you could come in for a bit,” Ryan offered. Shane’s Adam’s apple bobbed wildly. He nodded, pulling into a parking spot and turning off the car.

“I’d love to.”

They walked up to Ryan’s apartment in a comfortable silence, a little too close together. Despite it, Ryan didn’t feel threatened like he normally would have. It was comforting to have Shane close to him, that gentle woodsy cologne filling his senses again.

In the apartment, Shane hung his coat, taking Ryan’s as well.

“Another movie?” Ryan asked. Shane shrugged.

“Good idea as any. Another off your top ten scary ones maybe?”

Ryan beamed at that. “Make the popcorn.” He headed toward his television. As he sat on the floor, flipping through his DVDs, he could hear Shane clunking in the kitchen. It felt so domestic and _normal_. He hadn’t had anyone in his apartment outside of his friends; he’d gotten this place after Drake went to jail. Despite the newness of the relationship, there was something comforting about Shane’s presence. Thinking back to how scared of him he was just a week ago, Ryan had to smile. Things could change so quickly.


	12. Take Control

Watching movies was safe. It was an easy way to end a night without a promise of more. But Ryan didn’t want safe tonight. And neither did Shane, it seemed.

Though they were both focused on the screen - Dead Silence was Ryan’s selection tonight - the air was thick with tension, hanging over them like a warm blanket. It only increased when Ryan moved closer, nestling under Shane’s arm. His hand settled on Shane’s stomach, but it was only a few moments before it had wandered under his shirt, Ryan’s short fingernails scraping the light dusting of hair just below his belly button.

Ryan could hear Shane’s throat click, feel the tension increase when Shane shifted his hips. His growing erection was obvious against Ryan’s arm, hot and pressing and so fucking tempting.

“Does fear turn you on or something?” Shane murmured, letting his nails scrape lightly over Ryan’s neck.

Ryan’s eyes slipped shut, a shiver running down his spine. “Nope. I just definitely spent the past two nights thinking about this.”

“Oh yeah?” Shane’s voice deepened, taking on a quiet rasp that went straight to Ryan’s cock.

“Mhm. About what I would do if we hadn’t stopped Friday night.”

“Ca—“ Shane swallowed the lump in his throat and tried again. “Care to share with the class?”

Ryan smirked. It had taken a long time, the whole weekend nearly, to psych himself up for this, to trust himself - to trust _Shane_ \- enough to take the reins.

“Start off simple. Kiss you, right here,” he brushed his fingers over Shane’s bottom lip. “And here,” the fingers slid down to Shane’s throat. “And here,” up to his earlobe.

“And then take you to my bedroom and strip off every inch of clothing we’re wearing.”

Shane’s jaw twitched, his teeth bared for the briefest second.

“And then?” He whispered.

“And then I would have you suck my dick.”

Shane made a small, distressed noise. He closed the small gap between their faces, catching Ryan’s mouth in a kiss. Ryan let him - for a moment.

Then he pulled back, splaying his hand on Shane’s chest. He shook his head no slowly. “I said was going to kiss you, not let you kiss me.”

Shane whimpered, screwing his eyes shut. His hands were fisted against his thighs. “Ryan--“

“Want me to keep going?”

Shane nodded, barely blinking at the scream from the tv in the background. He opened his eyes again, focusing on Ryan.

“You’d have to open me up with those long fingers of yours,” Ryan said softly, grabbing Shane’s hand. Shane opened his fist, and Ryan twined their fingers, giving a little squeeze. “And once I’m nice and relaxed, I’m gonna crawl onto your lap,” he murmured against Shane’s ear, “and I’m gonna slide down onto your thick cock... And I’m gonna ride you until neither of us can breathe.”

Shane swore under his breath, leaning toward Ryan.

Ryan pulled back, smirking a little when their gazes met again. Shane already looked fucked out, his pupils blown wide and cheeks mottled with vibrant pink.

He leaned forward a little, lips parted in a silent plea. Ryan closed the gap, letting their mouths meet. It was slow at first, teasing even as Shane whimpered for more. Ryan took control with a surprising ease, burying his fingers in Shane’s shaggy hair and tugging his head back as he kissed and nipped over his jaw and earlobe. Shane groaned, resting his hands on Ryan’s thighs.

“Please--“

“Please what?” Ryan murmured, biting his earlobe again.

“I need you--“

“You sure?” Ryan asked, pulling back to look at Shane.

“Of course,” Shane whispered. He smiled a little, sliding his hands over Ryan’s back. “You’re so fucking sexy when you take control like this, you know? It’s one of the hottest things I’ve seen. You don’t need to worry about me, I swear. I’ll tell you if I’m not into something, as long as you do the same, okay?”

Ryan smiled a little and nodded. “Deal... Should we move this to the bedroom?”

“Lead the way,” Shane said. Ryan turned off his television and DVD player, grabbing Shane’s hand and tugging him down the hall into the bedroom.

As promised, Ryan stripped them both out of every scrap of clothing they wore between kisses and touches. They scrambled onto the bed and under the sheets, bodies pressed tight. Breaths were stolen between kisses as they ground their hips together, cocks bumping and sliding with a hot, smile friction.

When Shane finally pulled away to inhale deeply, Ryan tugged his hair. “Tell me what I wanted to do next.”

Shane bared his teeth, his cock jumping and dribbling a streak of precome over Ryan’s thigh.

“Make me suck your cock,” he whispered.

“Do I have to make you?”

“Never.” Shane stole a quick kiss before wiggling down, letting Ryan settle onto his back.

“How do you like it?” Shane asked, his breath hot over Ryan’s oversensitive skin.

“I honestly don’t know.”

Shane smirked. “Guess we have to find out.” He lifted Ryan’s cock and opened his mouth. Without hesitation he took him down until Ryan’s tip bumped against the back of his throat. He began to bob his head, sucking hard as he swirled his tongue around the shaft.

Ryan shouted, yanking at Shane’s hair both in surprise and pleasure. Shane switched tactics then, pulling off Ryan’s cock with an obscene pop. He pressed a teasing kiss to his tip, tongue darting out to gather any precome. He used his lips and tongue to tease then, lapping at Ryan’s cock like a piece of candy, teeth barely grazing him. Ryan’s legs began to twitch, goosebumps breaking out over his body. He hissed at a daring nip, meeting Shane’s gaze. Shane grinned, Ryan’s cock resting on his bottom lip.

“That all you got?” Ryan rasped. Shane’s grin grew. He winked at Ryan and opened his mouth, sinking back down on his cock.

This time, however, he didn’t stop once Ryan’s tip bumped the back of his tongue. He kept going, his throat fluttering around Ryan’s cock. He stilled when his nose was nestled at the base of Ryan’s cock for a moment, his throat squeezing his shaft as Shane struggled to breathe. He pulled back just long enough to drag in a wet breath before sinking all the way back down, again and again, until Ryan couldn’t do much more than scream for him.

Finally he pulled off and grinned, his chin wet with spit and lips swollen.

“Have a favorite?” He rasped.

“Fucking tease,” Ryan panted, forcing himself to let go of Shane’s hair.

“No, I fully intend to come through on it.”

“Wouldn’t matter. I’d make sure you did.”

Shane groaned, wetting his lips. “Got lube?”

Ryan grabbed it, passing it down to Shane. He closed his eyes and let his hands rest at his sides.

Shane pressed a kiss to his thigh. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure this feels good.”

“It’s just been a while.”

“Even more reason,” Shane whispered. He set the lube aside and sank lower, pushing Ryan’s thighs open further.

Hours. Ryan felt like he’d been spread open on the bed for hours. Shane was alternating between sucking his cock, fingers deep inside him, massaging and loosening muscles he didn’t even know he had, and holding his ass open, using his tongue to tease and lick at his sensitive rim. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

Shane brought him right to the edge again and again, stopping just long enough each time to let it fade, settling into Ryan’s balls like pins and needles.

Finally, when Shane’s thumbs pulled Ryan open again, and his body was simultaneously relaxed and as tense as a thread, he whimpered Shane’s name.

“Please— Let me come.”

“No need to beg me, baby,” Shane murmured, his breath hot and wet against the Ryan’s ass, relaxed enough now to open in a small gape at the slightest press of Shane’s talented fingers.

“Wanna know what I came to on Saturday night? What fantasy I stroked my cock to until I passed out?”

Ryan nodded quickly, his eyes screwed shut.

“You. Sitting on my lap. Using my cock however you needed to, coming over and over until you couldn’t anymore.”

Ryan gave a sobbing moan. He twisted his body, digging around in the bedside stand for a condom. While he did, Shane stretched out next to him, cock still hard and ready.

Ryan settled onto his lap, his hands shaking as he struggled to open the condom.

Shane’s hands covered his, their eyes meeting in the low light. Shane smiled wide. “Don’t worry, it’s not gonna bite you,” he teased.

Ryan laughed despite himself, punching Shane in the ribs.

“Asshole.”

The joke worked though, and Ryan got the condom open and rolled onto Shane’s cock. He slicked Shane up and moved, hesitating when the thick tip bumped his hole. He could feel himself relaxing almost instinctively, and knew this wouldn’t be too hard; Shane had loosened him beautifully.

Their gazes met once more. He swallowed hard and grabbed Shane’s hand, bringing it to his hip in hopes Shane would understand. And he did. Slow and steady, Shane guided Ryan down onto his cock, inch by inch. They moaned in unison, eyes shut as they focused on the unique sensation of one another.

Ryan’s head fell back as he was filled, Shane’s cock only reaching the point of discomfort when he was fully buried inside, and even that faded quickly. Ryan braced his hands on Shane’s shoulders, raising his hips just enough to pull off Shane for a moment before sinking back down. Shane’s fingers tightened briefly on Ryan’s hips, his name spilling from Shane’s mouth.

Ryan picked up a steady pace, fucking himself open on Shane’s cock, shifting and clenching as he needed. It was a surreal feeling; taking pleasure without consciously giving it. What he was doing seemed to be pleasurable enough for Shane regardless. His hips jerked and bucked, hands sliding over Ryan’s thighs and chest. He moaned freely, the sound mixing with Ryan’s own cries and the telltale creaking of the bed frame.

He didn’t want to come. Not that he didn’t want to experience it, but Ryan didn’t fucking want the moment to end. Shane looked beautiful underneath him, and even the promised ache in his ass and the tense burn in his stomach from the continuous edging couldn’t erase how _good_ it felt to be like this. Connected, taking and giving without any real effort outside of just doing what felt nice.

Shane gritted his teeth, fingers biting into Ryan’s thighs. “Ryan— I— Fuck,” he shook his head, his hips twisting to get more stimulation. Ryan leaned forward, grabbing Shane’s face. He sped up his thrusts, their mouths meeting in a hard, messy kiss. Shane’s long fingers curled around Ryan’s cock, using Ryan’s thrusts to help keep up the speed.

Ryan broke away from Shane, tossing his head back. His body went stiff, clenching tight as he came, spilling over Shane’s hand. Shane shouted, pushing his hips up to bury himself deep. Even through the haze of his orgasm and the condom, Ryan could feel the strong throb of Shane’s cock as he spilled into the condom.

Ryan collapsed next to Shane as soon as Shane softened enough to slip free, a tired giggle slipping out before he could stifle it.

Shane’s own laugh was given in return, and the two found themselves laughing for no clear reason, bodies sticky and hot with sweat.

When it finally died down, Shane sighed, looking down at Ryan. “Want me to go?”

“Actually, if you wanna... I’d love for you to stay.”

Shane grinned. “Awesome. I’d like that. I’ll grab our shorts.” Ryan nodded, rolling onto his back. Shane rose and discarded the condom, wandering into the bathroom to return with a towel. He wiped them both down and handed Ryan his shorts, and setting their phones on the bedside stand.

They settled into the bed and Ryan snuggled up to Shane, setting an alarm.

“So,” Shane mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

“What?”

“Did you tell all your friends we had sex?”

Ryan buried his face in Shane’s chest. “Who cares?”

“I just need to prepare for the talk I’ll get tomorrow from your whole office,” Shane teased. Ryan wheezed and punched Shane’s chest.

“Shut up, Shane.”


	13. Morning After

Ryan wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he woke up. Part of him thought maybe he’d had an elaborate fantasy; Shane wouldn’t really do the things he did last night. The other part wondered if maybe Shane would just be gone, having gotten what he wanted. 

He certainly didn’t expect to wake up to his alarm and a groaning Shane trying - albeit unsuccessfully - to turn the volume down.

“What is this?” Shane grumbled.

“It’s a puzzle.” Ryan grabbed his phone, forcing his tired eyes to focus for a moment. He entered the correct code and the alarm went silent, leaving the two in their own morning after silence. 

“So...”

“So.” Ryan cleared his throat. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t wanna.”

“What if I wanna?” Shane asked, smirking a little. “We’re going to the same office, right? So I mean, it makes sense to just ride together.”

Ryan bit his lip. “Well, yeah. But... last night.”

“Last night we had a date and then had sex.”

“Gee, was that what it was?” Ryan quipped. 

Shane’s eyebrows shot up before he laughed. “Smart ass.”

“Better’n a dumbass. Look, I just don’t want it to be awkward.”

“I don’t see why it has to be. We’re two grown men. We had a date that went great and subsequently had sex that - may I say - was fucking mind blowing. And I’d like a repeat. Of the date and the sex, honestly.”

“Is that your way of what - asking for a steady boyfriend?”

Shane shrugged, and Ryan noticed a light hicky forming on his shoulder. He smirked a little at that, a surprising rush of pride running through him. 

“I don’t think that’s too bad of an idea,” Ryan murmured. “It’s dumb asking for it though, we’re not in high school.” 

Shane grinned and leaned over, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s mouth. 

“Who cares if it’s dumb? You said yes.” Shane pulled back. “I’m sure my morning breath is horrendous, I’m so sorry.” Ryan laughed a little and nodded.

“It’s pretty bad. I think I have an extra toothbrush in my medicine cabinet if you want.”

“Damn, one sleepover and we get to share a toothbrush holder?” 

Ryan rolled his eyes. “You’re an idiot. And why not? My dick was down your throat last night.”

“You weren’t complaining.”

Ryan only shook his head at that, crawling out of bed and stretching. He felt delightfully relaxed and sore, his back and ass aching dully as a reminder of the night before. 

“I’m gonna shower and make coffee.”

“I’ll make coffee while you shower, that way it’s ready when you get out,” Shane offered. Ryan smiled a little and nodded. “Deal. Do you need to run by your apartment to get anything for work?”

“Nah, I have a work shirt in my car and the tools are in my trunk. These jeans work.”

 

The two moved around the apartment with surprising fluidity for only having known each other for a short while. Shane made coffee while Ryan showered, and Ryan threw together a quick breakfast of toast and eggs while  Shane showered. They are together while watching the morning news, knees brushing as they sat on the couch. Shane did the dishes and Ryan straightened the bedroom, gathering his bag for work before they headed down to the car. 

 

As they drove toward Ryan’s work, Ryan could feel the tension in the car. Shane was silent, the leather of his steering wheel squeaking as he squeezed and twisted every few seconds. 

“What’s wrong?” Ryan asked.

“I’m scared that your friends are gonna be pissed,” Shane admitted after a few seconds of silence. 

“At what?” 

“Me. For sleeping with you. It’s stupid, you’re a grown man and they’re great people. But they’re so protective of you. I don’t wanna mess this up.” 

“You won’t, Shane.” Ryan reached over and set his hand on Shane’s thigh. “My friends encouraged me to go on a date with you. They won’t be mad that you took me up on it.” 

“I suppose not. It’s just a ridiculous fear, I just... I don’t know.”

“I get it. They are super protective of me - but they’ll be fine with this. I know it.”

Shane nodded. He still looked concerned, but his hands relaxed on the steering wheel.

They parked, and Ryan waited with Shane as he grabbed his tool belt and tugged on a paint splattered work shirt over the one he’d worn last night. 

As they walked into the office, Ryan reached out, taking Shane’s hand and lacing their fingers. He grinned when Shane looked over at him, and pushed open the door. 

The three in the office went silent when the two walked in, staring. Shane tensed visibly next to Ryan, but stood his ground, squeezing Ryan’s hand gently. 

Zack waved from his desk. “Shane, come here. I drew up a plan for that thing we talked about on Friday.”

This seemed to break the tension in the room with a snap; both Steven and Andrew began talking at Ryan, their words overlapping: dates, food, dinner, party. A breath Ryan didn’t know he was holding escaped in a rush. He let go of Shane’s hand to settle at his desk while Shane wandered over to Zack, his tall frame bent neatly over Zack’s desk to look at the paper he was pointing to. 

The elbow poking him in the side drew his eyes away from the curve of Shane’s spine, and the bulge of his arm as he leaned on he desk. He glanced over, smiling guiltily at Sara.

“You _still_ didn’t text me.”

“I texted you.”

“Yeah, about my lunatic brother. Not about tall drink of dork over there.” 

“You know dork is a whale’s penis,” Andrew said.

“Ah, that’s actually inaccurate,” Shane said. “It was used back in the sixteen-hundreds just to mean a foolish or innocent slash harmless person. It was used in a novel, I can’t remember which, where the context as a penis, but it was discussing a human’s dick - not a whale’s. The only other possible origin is dirk - a lockpick - but this isn’t as likely.”

Andrew glanced between Shane and Ryan until Shane shrugged. “I’m a construction worker, not an idiot. I like linguistics. And history.” 

Ryan beamed then, his heart doing a strange little clench-flip in his chest. 

“I was too busy with the smart dork over there to text. Sorry,” he said to Sara. Her eyes narrowed, then bulged. She punched Ryan in the shoulder. 

“Finally got some, huh?” 

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“Oh yeah, I bet. Well good for you, Ryan. I’m happy for you.”

Ryan smiled softly, glancing over at Shane again. Shane was watching him while Zack talked, a smile curving up his own lips. 

“Any other anonymous texts?”

“Nah. Maybe it was just a wrong number. Or him trying to scare me. The 24th is tomorrow, so I guess we’ll see then.” 

“Think he’ll really break the order just to fuck with you?”

“I’m sorry, have you met your brother? This is the kid that when you were six, what’d he wanna do?”

“Burn my bear,” Sara muttered, chuckling. 

“Mm, and when you said no he had a normal response. Of lighting your _room_ on fire instead.”

“You know, the more I think about it I wonder why the fuck my parents thought he was so great.”

Ryan shrugged. “Sexism. And bad parenting, honestly. I kinda hate your dad.”

Sara laughed. “That’s okay, so do I. I gotta get back in to my meeting. We’ll have lunch maybe, talk about your new beau.” She winked  and headed out of the office even as Ryan groaned.

 

Ryan was leaned close to his computer screen, glaring at a few frames of the video he was editing. 

He felt firm hands on his shoulders, startling him. Before he could shout, warm lips brushed his neck and that familiar scent hit his nose. He turned around, pushing his headphones around his neck. 

“It’s rude to startle people.”

“You’re just too jumpy. Look at that though, an eight hour day and I didn’t almost kill you.” 

“I know, I almost miss the panic attacks.”

Shane laughed. “I could just pick you up really high and let go if you want.”

“I feel like there’s a short joke in there somewhere.”

“Maybe. Want a ride home?” 

Ryan shook his head, jerking his thumb at the computer. “I’m gonna be here another hour or so. I don’t know if you wanna sit around.”

“No, but I have to go talk to my Dad about today’s progress anyway. Why don’t you text me when you’re done, I’ll pick you up and we can have some dinner and watch a movie or something?”

“Wanna spend the night again?”

Shane groaned weakly. “It’s so tempting. But I can’t. I gotta pick up some supplies for the new desks early in the morning and drop ‘em off. Maybe tomorrow night though.” 

Ryan nodded. “I’ll text you when I’m done.” 

Shane nodded and leaned down, meeting Ryan halfway in a gentle kiss. He smiled and walked out, leaving Ryan to finish his work.


	14. Forget-Me-Not

Sometimes, life could really give everything. Three weeks after he and Shane had begun dating, Ryan realized just how perfect things were. His friends were amazing, his job was decent - not amazing but hey, everyone started somewhere. His car worked, his home was nice, and now he had a boyfriend that seemed to brighten up everything. Lately Shane had been staying with Ryan more often than not. Despite this, Ryan was still able to hang out with friends - both with and without Shane and maintain a good life separate from Shane’s. It was unbelievable and fucking perfect.

Nothing serious came from the ominous text with his and Drake’s anniversary. The thought of Drake faded each day more and more as things moved forward with Shane.

That Monday morning, Shane had woken him with slow, lazy sex; it was his day off and he intended to spend all day in Ryan’s bed, naked and sleeping, according to him.

When Ryan walked into the office, his muscles delightfully loose and relaxed from the sex, his easy grin grew wider at the sight of his desk. In a simple vase was a bouquet of tiny flowers. He slung his bag over the back of his chair and pulled out his phone, texting Shane.

_‘You know, you’re already getting my ass pretty much whenever you want. You don’t need to buy  me flowers anymore.’_

Shane’s response came a few minutes later, while Ryan was saying good morning to the others.

_‘What flowers?’_

Ryan scowled. He took a photo then, shaking his head, and sent it to Shane. _‘Oh stop it - don’t play coy. They really are pretty big guy.’_

_‘Hate to break it to you, baby -- I didn’t send those. Got another admirer?’_

Ryan’s scowl deepened. “Hey, Zack - who dropped these off?” He pointed to the flowers on his desk.

“No idea. They were here when we got in. They’re from Shane, aren’t they?”

“He says no.”

“Is there a card?” Steven suggested.

Ryan grabbed the vase and turned it, searching for a card.

“Aren’t those forget-me-nots?” Andrew asked.

“How do you even know that?” Zack said.

“Almost every funeral or memorial service I’ve made stuff for has used ‘em. They’re primarily for that shit nowadays. I mean there’s a romantic meaning too - but they’re big in funerals. Maybe a mistake?”

Ryan found the card tucked under the vase, a small white piece of cardboard. Inside was a generic, typed message. Despite the simplicity of it, Ryan’s heart sank like a stone, his stomach threatening to force up everything he’d eaten that morning.

_‘Such a shame about Shane’s untimely demise. You two were a great couple. What a terrible accident.’_

 

Ryan threw the card onto the desk, backing up and scrambling for his phone in his pocket. It took him three tries to dial Shane’s number.

Shane answered cheerfully. “ _Was it a prank?_ ”

“It was Drake, Shane please come to the office,” Ryan begged in a rush. “He’s threatening you and I’m fucking terrified.”

There was a scrambling and a rustle on the other end. Shane’s voice was much closer - and much more alert.

“ _I’ll be there in ten minutes. Stay with the guys and get ahold of Sara.”_

The phone clicked off and Ryan sank into his chair, his entire body wracked with cold chills. Just when things were getting good. Just when he was happy and confident and loved. This couldn’t be happening. He’d told Shane the entire story one night, wanting to be transparent about everything. Shane had been even more understanding than he’d ever expected, not even hesitating when Ryan asked if he was sure about dating someone that emotionally sensitive.

While he waited for Shane, Shane’s dad came in with a few other members of the crew. They’d decided not to meet each other’s parents _quite_ yet; it had only been a few weeks. He couldn’t help but wonder if this would be that meeting; if Shane rushed into the office in a panic surely his dad would ask.

Ten minutes passed. Then fifteen. By twenty, Ryan had begun to panic.

“Where is he?”

“Maybe he just got caught in traffic,” Steven suggested.

“Try calling him,” Zack said. Ryan nodded and did so, his throat closing when it went straight to Shane’s cheery voicemail.

“No answer. Fuck. What if Drake grabbed him or hurt him —“

“Madej Construction, this is Chris. Shane? Which hospital? What happened?”

Ryan whipped around at Shane’s name.  His dad looked just as panicked as Ryan felt, leaning on the wall of the new office space.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be right there.” He hung up the phone and turned to his workers. “I gotta go, it’s Shane.” They nodded and Chris headed out. Ryan grabbed his wrist.

“Wait—“

“I don’t have time to chat, kid, I gotta go.”

“Where’s Shane? What happened?” Ryan asked.

“Why?”

Ryan hesitated for a split second. “We’ve been dating for a few weeks. I’m Ryan. Please, he was coming to see me here - what happened?”

Chris’ face sank even further. “There was an accident. Come on, you can tag along with me to the hospital.”

Ryan felt sick to his stomach at the mention of accident and hospital. He grabbed his phone and pointed to Zack. “Please get those flowers and card to Sara - have her call Drake’s P.O.”

“Call us when you know more on Shane,” Steven called as Ryan followed Chris out.

***

The drive to the hospital was awkward and nerve wracking to put it kindly. Ryan could feel the tension rolling off Chris.

They walked in silence through the sterile halls of the hospital, and Ryan stood silently while Chris gave Shane’s name and date of birth.

“He’s in surgery now so I can’t let you back, but I’ll tell the doctor you’re here okay?”

Chris nodded. “Is he — I mean do you know what happened?”

The girl at the front desk smiled sadly and shook her head. “Just that there was an accident. The doctor will know more.”

“Thank you.” Chris slumped into a waiting room chair, rubbing his temples. Ryan sat down slowly across from him, sending Steven a quick text.

“So how long have you and Shane been dating?” Chris asked after a moment. Ryan cleared his throat.

“Three weeks.”

“Aren’t you the kid he dumped paint all over?”

Ryan laughed a little. “That’s me. And almost hit with a tv and his car. And nearly electrocuted.”

Chris laughed, shaking his head. “He’s not normally that incompetent. I shoulda known it was because of a boy.”

Ryan smiled, shrugging. He could see panic still under the thin smile Chris wore, but it was nice to talk. Anything to break the tension of the situation.

“Yeah, he asked me out after the paint accident and I kinda stood him up. And then made it up to him. We’ve been together ever since.”

Chris chuckled. “Explains why he’s been so cheerful lately. You make him happy, Ryan, was it?”

“Yeah,” Ryan stuck out his hand, “Ryan Bergara.”

Chris shook it firmly, his eyes narrowed as he looked Ryan over.

“Well I’m glad to meet you, Ryan. I don’t know if Shane’s talked much about his family, but you got nothing to worry about with me. I don’t really care who my son dates; he’s a good judge of character.”

Ryan nodded, grinning. “He told me you’d probably think that way.”

“Now his mother...”

“I know. Don’t worry - when you call her to come, I’m just a friend. Or even just one of your workers, if that’s better.”

Chris shook his head. “Don’t even think about that. I’m not calling her. She and Shane don’t get along and if he—“ Chris’ voice broke for a moment, the reality of the situation settling in once more. “If he wakes up in a sensitive state he doesn’t need that bag of crazy flapping around him.”

Ryan nodded, sighing softly. “Can I get you a coffee?”

“Sure. Black,” Chris agreed. Ryan rose and walked toward the cafeteria, doing all he could to stave off the panic that bubbled up.

_‘I’m calling Drake’s PO – see if he’s got any idea on what we can do. Do you think he caused this?’_

Sara’s message came through while Ryan was waiting in line. He sent a quick one back.

_‘I really do. The flowers and then this accident; he knows me – he knows I’d freak out and call Shane to come to me. Lemme know what his PO thinks, do you think I should involve the real cops?’_

He ordered and walked back to where Chris was still sitting in the waiting room, passing him a coffee before sitting down and checking her response.

_‘Personally – I do. But idk if they’d do anything, ya know? We don’t have hard proof.’_

_‘What if there was something messed with in the car? It had to be that; shane’s a good driver.’_

_‘Worth a look’_

“Is Shane pretty good friends with your coworkers as well?” Chris asked. Ryan nodded, setting his phone aside.

“Yeah, they’re the ones that convinced me to give him a shot.”

“Not into his type normally?” Chris joked.

Ryan smiled a little sadly. “Nah, I liked him a lot. But I’d gotten out of a pretty crappy relationship about a year ago and have been a little spooked to get back into one. _Any_ relationship. Shane’s been nothing but amazing though, he’s really helped. I just wish I could’ve helped him too,” He added after a beat.

“How so?”

“I don’t think whatever happened to him to cause this was an accident. My ex – He’s not too stable. I’m afraid he’d try to hurt Shane.”

Chris nodded. “He’s that unstable?”

“He just got out of jail,” Ryan mumbled, his face heating up under Chris’ intense gaze. Taking a steadying breath, he explained his past with Drake in broad strokes, ending with the conversation with Sara, the ominous text, and the flowers.

When he finished, Chris sat back and took a sip of his coffee. “Well, if he is – then he needs to be sent back to jail. It’s a violation of his parole to mess with you, and causing a car accident is attempted murder. Simple as that.”

“You don’t… You don’t sound pissed.”

“Why would I be pissed, Ryan?”

Ryan shrugged sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s my fault Shane is in the hospital. We don’t even know how bad it is, he could die and I—I caused this.”

“How?” Chris was silent after asking until Ryan looked up and shrugged again.

“I don’t see how you’re at fault, Ryan. You were at work when the accident happened. You were scared and you thought to call someone that makes you feel safe. Any person in your situation would have done the same. Hell, if I thought someone was threatening Shane’s mother when I was still with her, I would’ve called her into my shop as well. It sounds like this Drake might be responsible – but not _you_.”

Ryan tried to smile, nodding. Part of him knew Chris was right, but he just couldn’t shake the guilt.

  
The two sat in silence until a doctor rounded the corner. He stopped at the front desk and the woman that had spoken to them previously pointed at them. The doctor nodded, approaching the two with a stern expression. “Christopher Madej?”

Chris bolted up. “My son, Shane.”

“Yeah. I’m Richard Jensen, his doctor.”

“Is he gonna be okay? I mean—”

Richard nodded. He glanced at Ryan, who was standing silently behind Chris.

“I think he’ll be okay. He’s awake and he’s talking now, coherent. We were worried because he was brought in unconscious and the techs couldn’t bring him around. There is a concussion from his head hitting the window, and he’s got a few broken ribs. His shoulder was dislocated; we got it back into place and just have it in a sling for now to make sure it heals up okay. There’s of course cuts and bruises, but we couldn’t find any internal bleeding. I do want him to stay overnight, just to monitor his pain levels and make sure everything is stable.”

“Of course. Can we go see him?”

“There’s some officers with him now. He wasn’t able to give a statement at the site of the accident, so they’re gathering it. But you’re welcome to go in.” Richard looked at Ryan again.

“You must be Ryan.”

“How’d you know?”

Richard smiled a little. “The moment he woke up he was asking us to call you. Begging, damn near. Wanted you to know he was alive and wanted you to not worry. I guess it’s too late for that. I’m not supposed to let in anyone but immediate family, you know.”

Ryan nodded. “Of course, I’m just the boyfriend. It’s okay.” It wasn’t – Ryan wanted to scream at the thought that he couldn’t immediately see Shane, check for himself that he was okay.

“No, not with how Shane was acting. I think it’s in his best interest if you go in there too. My professional opinion.” Richard winked at Ryan and offered his hand to Chris.

“I’ll be back in there in a while to check on him, if there are any problems just beep the nurses. He’s in room five.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Call it a special for my biggest fans. ;) Enjoy!


	15. Foul Play

Hospitals in general have never been fun places for Ryan. Though he’d only had limited experience in them, they weren’t where he’d choose to spend time. They scared the shit out of him, if he was being honest. No one close to him had died in one; in fact he’d only been in hospitals a few times in his life: once when he broke his arm, once when his mother had pneumonia, once when a childhood friend had to have surgery, and a few days after Drake had attacked him. These few seconds - the in between - knowing Shane was alive but not knowing just how bad he looked, or if he was angry, or how much pain he was in — these few seconds were more frightening than all of those experiences.

Ryan stepped into the hospital room behind Chris, his heart in his throat. Shane was under a warm white blanket, his hair it’s normal rats nest. A scrape colored his right cheek and his lip was split. He had a deep bruise on his temple, and a scrape on his throat where the seatbelt must have caught. A bruise was blossoming in his collarbone, peeking out of the hospital gown. His left arm was in a sling, resting atop the blanket.

Despite the hurt he must have been in, his face lit up at the sight of Chris and Ryan.

“You came.”

“Course I came, you idiot. How tight can I hug before it hurts?”

“Don’t care, come here.” He lifted his good arm.

Ryan rushed up to him, trying to both hug gently and squeeze tight enough that he’d never have to let you.

“You scared the fuck out of me,” Ryan murmured against his neck.

“I’m sorry, baby, you know I didn’t mean to.”

“Got a nice boyfriend, Shane,” Chris said. Shane laughed sheepishly and Ryan pulled back, his cheeks heating up as he remembered they weren’t alone.

“I _was_ gonna tell you, Dad. We just wanted to wait a little longer.”

“I know. He’s a good kid. How’re you feeling?”

“Like I got into a massive car wreck?” Shane joked, then sighed. “I swear, dad. I don’t know what happened. You know I’m a safe driver. I was in a hurry but I wasn’t speeding.”

“I believe you, Shane. Ryan here thinks something else might be going on.”

“What?”

Ryan hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think Drake had something to do with it?”

“How?”

“He sent me the flowers. They said you had an accident. I mean I’ve changed since we dated but he knows how protective I am. He had to guess I’d call you as soon as I put two and two together.”

“But how would he be able to plan a car accident?”

“Was there anything strange about your car, Shane? Even the tiniest thing,” Chris said. Shane shook his head.

“My tires might’ve felt a little low. Now that I think of it, but nothing that’d cause the blow out.”

“What happened exactly?” Chris pressed.

Shane shrugged, wincing when he jarred his bad shoulder.

“I got Ryan’s call asking me to come to his work because of the flowers and Drake. So I got dressed and headed out. I knew traffic would be a nightmare; Ryan lives in a weirdly congested area so I was gonna try to take a shortcut. I started down it and hit a stoplight, went. I mean I was up to speed pretty quick but I wasn’t going more than thirty or forty. Then my tire blew out as I was going through an intersection. That’s about all I remember; the doctor thinks I hit my head on the side window. I guess another car t-boned me when I lost control, but I barely remember it.” He shook his head. “Drake couldn’t have planned that.”

“Maybe now the whole thing, but a blowout in my area of the city would cause a wreck no matter what.”

“But still, how would he even know I’d be coming from your place?”

“If he’s been watching.”

“That’s a lot of ifs, Ryan,” Shane said. “I don’t – I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying it’ll be really hard to prove anything.”

“What if we find foul play with the car? You said your tire felt a little flat; what if he damaged it in some way?” Ryan suggested.

“You know, I know the owner of the junkyard they normally bring the wrecked cars to to determine if they’re totaled. I bet I can get him to lemme take a look at the car and see if I can find something,” Chris said. “I can’t promise anything, but I can give it a shot.”

“Would you?” Shane asked. “I hate asking but if Ryan’s sure it’s Drake… I don’t wanna risk not knowing. He needs to be sent back to prison if he’s seriously doing this kind of shit.”

Chris nodded. “Of course. Don’t even have to ask. Do you need anything while I’m out? Doc said you’d need to stay overnight.”

“Nah, I’m okay. You should head back to work, Ryan.”

“Not a chance. I’m not leaving your side until I know you’re safe.”

Shane smiled and shook his head, reaching out and taking Ryan’s hand. “You know you’re fucking adorable.”

“You know I could kick your ass.”

“You’re not wrong.”

Ryan smiled despite his fears, relieved that Shane was joking with him, and not angry about potentially dying on account of Drake. He still felt guilty over it, but Shane’s relaxed mood calmed him enough to just be glad that things were okay. He stepped out to let Chris and Shane talk while he called their friends to let them know Shane would be okay. He texted back and forth with Sara about Drake until Chris emerged from the room and set a hand on his shoulder.

“He’s asking for you, I’m headed to check out the car.”

“Please keep us updated,” Ryan said. “And thank you.”

“My pleasure, kiddo.” Chris squeezed the shoulder he was touching before walking down the hall.

“I really like your dad,” Ryan said when he entered the room again. Shane smiled and opened his arm silently, his eyes just mischievous enough to make Ryan hesitant. He couldn’t resist long, however, and went over to Shane, leaning down and snuggling against him as best he could in their strange position. Shane pressed a kiss to Ryan’s forehead then murmured his name, getting him to look up.

As soon as their gazes met, Shane smirked and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s mouth. Ryan pulled back, smiling a little. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so scared, if something would’ve really happened, I—“

“I’m okay, Ryan,” Shane said firmly, taking Ryan’s hand. “I’m breathing, just a little sore. And I’m okay. Don’t do that to yourself.”

“Do what?”

“Obsess over what if.”

Ryan smiled sheepishly. He nodded. “Know me too well.”

“Course I do. I’m dating you. Come on, sit down. We’ll watch crap tv and take my mind off how much I have to pee but don’t wanna move.”

“Need me to call the nurse?”

“She probably wants me to get help cause they’ve got me pretty drugged up,” Shane admitted.

“So you’re high as a kite aren’t you?”

Shane shrugged with his good shoulder. “I’m feeling pretty good.” He poked at the call button for the nurse.

She entered, smiling softly at Shane. “You okay?”

“I gotta pee and I’m pretty sure you’d yell at me if I had Ryan help me.”

She laughed a little and glanced over at Ryan. “Nah, he can help you. Saves my back. I’ll walk on your other side just to make sure.”

They helped Shane up and to the bathroom. After a little arguing, Shane relented and let Ryan in the room with him, grumbling about how embarrassing it was to be held up while taking a leak.

Settling back into his bed, Shane moved over just enough to let Ryan crawl in with him. They laid in a calm silence, each comforted by one another’s presence, as they flipped through the television in the hospital room.

 

Ryan was nearly dozing when Chris entered the room a few hours later. His first words were the equivalent to a bucket of ice water.

“I don’t think Shane’s wreck was an accident.”


	16. In Your Head

“What’d you find?” Shane asked, his good arm tightening around Ryan as he tried to climb out of the bed. He winked before turning his attention to his dad.

“Well Jake, my friend at the shop, he’d said the cops figured it was just a tire blowout, so that’s where I started. And then I found something weird. The tire that was the worst off; the one the blowout originated with they think – it had a nail in it.”

“How’s that weird? I mean it makes sense,” Shane said.

“Yeah, it would. Except the _nail_ was weird. It had a hole drilled down the center to guarantee air would seep out just quick enough to eventually cause the blow out – but not enough that you’d notice right away.”

“So you think someone actually planted the nail to make my tire flat?”

“Or to cause the blow out,” Ryan said. “Think about it. If Drake did this, he’d have the advantage of timing. He’d know I work a set schedule and would see the flowers around eight, call you; all he’d have to do is sneak down and plant the nail at the right time.”

“It’s a stretch. I mean I can see it,” Shane said, “but we’ve got no definitive evidence.”

“Well that’s what the cops are for, right?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, Jake was calling them to come look at it when I left to talk to you boys. They should be here with an update pretty soon. How are you feeling?”

“Besides nervous?” Shane admitted, still holding Ryan’s shoulders.

“Well, yes, I mean physically.” Chris sat down near Shane’s bed. Shane shrugged as well as he could.

“Shoulder hurts. I’m pretty doped up still honestly, so I’m sure it’ll hurt more as the day passes. Honestly I just wanna go curl up on my own couch and watch crap tv.”

“To be fair, the tv here is crap too,” Ryan joked. Shane laughed a little.

“It is, but it’s not my couch and my blankets. And there’s no popcorn. Plus I can’t cuddle you right.”

“Shane,” Ryan hissed, his cheeks burning.

“Oh don’t - my dad knows how I get with partners. He doesn’t mind.”

Chris shrugged. “I’m just happy he’s with someone semi-normal. You shoulda seen his last boyfriend. I mean I trust my boy’s judgement... But eccentric was an understatement when it came to Mark.”

It was Shane’s turn to flush red, hiding his face in Ryan’s shoulder. “Not the time, Dad.”

“The perfect time,” Ryan argued. “I wanna hear more about this Mark.”

Shane groaned even as Chris laughed.

“This guy was like a damn ghost. I mean - stick thin, scrawnier than Shane. And just deathly white. First time I met him I had to ask Shane if he was sick. And of course he had the long black hair, wore all black. I mean the kid was nice enough but he was just weird.”

Ryan laughed again, looking back at Shane. “How the hell did you go from that to me?”

“I’m assuming somewhere along the way he gained some taste,” Chris teased.

“If I wasn’t bedridden right now, Dad—“

“You can’t say I’m wrong. That was by far your worst relationship.”

“We just didn’t mesh. Mark was a good guy, he just... Wasn’t my type.”

“Translation - you had a hard time getting busy with a skeleton.”

Ryan didn’t think he’d ever seen Shane as red as he was in that moment.

“Okay, spill,” Ryan asked. “Why’d you break up with Jack Skellington?”

“You too? Really? Low,” Shane said. He sighed when Ryan only smiled. “Do I have to?”

“No. But it’d make me smile.”

Shane sighed again. “We broke up because he felt like my footing in reality was holding him back from being as powerful as he was destined to be. His words, not mine.”

All three were silent for a moment, staring at each other. Chris broke first, a deep, hearty laugh that had Ryan, and even Shane in a fit of laughter all their own in moments.

“Well you all seem to be in good spirits,” came a voice from the doorway. They quieted when they saw an officer standing there, arms crossed over his chest.

“Well you know what they say, make the best of it and be thankful for what you have,” Shane said, smiling. “Thanks for coming by, Officer Devries.”

“What do you need from us?” Ryan asked. “To help with stopping Drake.”

“Nothing at all,” Officer Devries said, leaning on the doorframe. “This was an accident.”

“What?” Chris rose and turned. “There was clearly foul play, officer. Nails don’t just get holes straight down the center of them.”

“Even if it was this crazy ex, sir - we have no way of proving that.”

“But the texts, and the flowers,” Ryan argued. “Plus he talked to his sister about me.”

“There’s no crime in talking to family. And what texts and flowers?”

Ryan rose and pulled out his phone. He flipped to the screenshot of the text.

“That’s our anniversary.”

“The date? I’m sure it’s a lot of people’s anniversaries. And a lot of coincidence. This is from an anonymous text, kid – I can’t blame a guy for this. Did anything happen to you on that day?”

“Well, no, but—”

“No buts. What about the flowers?”

“He sent me flowers this morning. They were on my desk at work when I came in.”

“How do you know they were from him?”

“Well, they threatened Shane. Said he had an accident.”

“What did they say exactly,” the officer pressed.

“Hold on, I had my friend - his sister - she has them right now.” He stepped to the side and texted Sara, asking her for a photo of the flowers and card.

“Look, kid - even if the flowers are from him, did he sign his name?”

“Well, no,” Ryan admitted, feeling sick to his stomach.

“Then there’s nothing I can do.”

“You’re not even going to pursue this as something that he could have done? The guy is nuts, Officer; I mean I know that evidence is circumstantial but considering the _circumstances_ , don’t you think he warrants at least a look?”

Officer Devries crossed his arms over his chest, standing a little taller. “You know, I frankly don’t. I’m an officer of the law, kid. I don’t have time to be chasing down every little fa—“ He hesitated for a split second before speaking again, “ex-boyfriend that _might_ be causing trouble. My advice?” He looked to Shane. “If you really think his ex is the problem, dump him. There’s nothing we can do, and we’re considering the accident exactly that. An accident. Have a good day.” He turned and walked out before any of them could argue with him, leaving the room in a stunned silence.

It was Shane that broke it first. “Did that just-- What the fuck just happened?”

“Pretty much had a cop tell us we were on our own,” Ryan said softly, dread sinking into the very pit of his stomach. He slumped against the wall, sighing softly. Chris shrugged.

“Look, you tried. We’ll just keep a closer eye out from now on. Maybe this was it, just trying to scare you guys.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Ryan mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I gotta call the team quick, let ‘em know you’re doing okay. I’ll be right back.” Chris rose and slipped out of the room. When he did, Shane looked over at Ryan.

“You’re not okay.”

“Not really.” Ryan was staring at his feet as he talked. “Shane... The cop was right, you know.”

“About what?”

“You wouldn’t have anything to worry about if you just broke up with me. I’d be okay with it-- understand it, even. All things considered--“

“Shut the fuck up, Bergara.”

Ryan’s teeth clicked shut, his eyes wide. He looked up at Shane, his heart doing a rapid stutter-step when he saw Shane sitting up slowly, his good arm wrapped around his sore ribs.

“Get over here. Or do I have to try and walk over there?”

“Shane, don’t, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” Ryan said, rushing over to keep him on the bed. When he was close enough, Shane grabbed him and pulled him close, nuzzling against his neck.

“Don’t. Please, I don’t want — I’m not going to leave you because of that asshole.”

“But Shane—“

“No, Ryan, please. I care about your thoughts and feelings, I do, but please let me say my part too, okay?”

Ryan swallowed audibly and nodded, wrapping his arms lightly around Shane’s shoulders.

“We’ve been dating three weeks. And in those three weeks I’ve been happier than I’ve been in months. And I— I’d like to think I make you happy, right?”

Ryan nodded.

“We spend at least some part of every day together and I can’t even begin to get tired of you. I don’t think I ever will. It feels right with you. And I know this mess with your ex is scary, I’m scared too. And I know you don’t need protection; I’ve said it a thousand times if I’ve said it once, you could kick my ass to Europe and back. But let me be your back up. Your support. If you— I mean if you wanna leave me because I’m not making you happy or I’ve hurt you or we don’t mesh for you, fine. I understand and I’m not going to force you to be with me. But if you’re saying this just because of Drake... No. I’m not fucking letting go that easy.”

Tears burned the back of Ryan’s nose when Shane finished speaking.

“You done?” He whispered. Shane laughed a little and nodded.

“I’m done.”

“I don’t want to leave you. I promised myself after Drake I’d never let myself... I’d never fall in love again. And I don’t know if this is love, it’s only been a few weeks - I’m not ready to make that jump yet. But I care about you. A fucking lot. And it’s scary and it’s fun and you’re so fucking nice to me. I don’t wanna lose that. But I’m scared that Drake-- I’m scared he’s gonna make me lose it anyway.”

“Then we don’t let him,” Shane whispered. “We’ll figure it out. We have each other and we have your friends; you know they’re not gonna let this stand either.”

“I hate getting everyone involved.”

“Don’t do that.” Shane leaned back. He brushed his knuckles under Ryan’s chin, tilting his head up. “I know you’re a tough guy. I know you can do this and you wanna handle it. But sometimes it’s nice to have support, okay? I mean where would Alexander the Great have been without Hephaestion? Without his army?”

Ryan wheezed. “You’re such a nerd.”

“You believe in ghosts, we all have our faults.”

Ryan punched him in his good arm lightly. “Fine - I see your point though.”

“So you’re not gonna dump me?”

“Can’t get rid of me that easy.”

Shane sighed, relief clear on his face. “Thank God, honestly... I was terrified you were gonna... I know this is scary, but we can manage it, okay? Just a bump in the road.”

“We get through this in one piece we’re meant to be,” Ryan joked. Shane smiled, a soft, distant smile, and wrapped his arm around Ryan’s shoulders.

“Who knows, maybe we are.”


	17. Can't Lose You

“I promise, Dad. I’m fine. And you really should go back to the office, or home if you don’t wanna stay there, Ryan.”

“Not a chance. The nurse said you’d be out tomorrow and they said I was okay to stay the night. I’m not leaving you.”

Shane sighed, looking at his dad for help. It was a few hours after their unfortunate incident with the officer and Chris was getting ready to go home. He shrugged. “Least the kid cares. I say let him stay. I’m certainly not dragging him out of here.”

“Thanks, Dad. Great show of support.”

Chris grinned. “I’ll come by tomorrow when you’re released, okay?”

“Bring me a change of clothes,” Shane asked. “I don’t have any extras at Ryan’s place and I have a funny feeling that’s where I’m getting dragged when I’m free.”

“Dragged? I have Netflix, popcorn, and a stack of like fifty horror movies. Is it really against your will?” Ryan argued.

“Good point. But still.”

“Yeah, I’ll stop by your apartment and pack up a small bag. You really don’t need to keep him, Ryan. It’s just a hurt shoulder.”

“I don’t need to keep him, but I want to. Plus he stays at my place a lot anyways; him staying here while he’s recovering with those hurt ribs just makes sense when he’s gonna be coming over anyway. And when he’s ready to start working again, you guys are working in my office still.”

Chris conceded, pulling on his jacket. “I’ll drop it by before you’re released tomorrow. Call if anything comes up, okay?”

Both of them nodded and watched Chris walk out. He narrowly missed colliding with Sara, who glared for a moment before smiling. “Construction guy.”

“Shane’s dad,” Chris clarified. Sara’s grin widened.

“Cool. Hi, I’m Sara. Sorry.”

Chris glanced back at Shane, who was shaking his head at the interaction. He chuckled. “You’ve got some visitors.”

“I can see that, Dad. Go away.”

Chris laughed as he walked out, allowing Sara and Zack to file in.

“Andrew and Steven are here too but they said only two at a time.”

“Oh fuck that. Bring ‘em in here, Ryan,” Shane said. Ryan nodded and walked out, returning with Steven and Andrew in tow minutes later.

“How’s it going, Crash?” Andrew said immediately, his teeth bared in a wide grin.

Shane smiled patiently. “It’s just a shame I didn’t break my arm.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because then I’d have an excellent weapon to bring down over your big, dumb head.”

Andrew laughed hard, shaking his head. “Glad you’re okay, idiot.” He settled into one of the chairs as Steven approached the bed.

“You know you freaked Ryan out, you ass.”

“Next time I’ll plan my car crashes better,” Shane grumbled.

“So do we really think it was Drake?” Zack asked, playing with a handful of tongue depressors.

“That’s the thought. Shane’s dad found the cause of the wreck; a nail with a hole drilled through it. What’d Drake’s P.O. say?”

“There’s Not too much he can do without hard evidence. He’s gonna look into it though, try and get an answer out of Drake and not so politely remind him of the restraining order. He said bring it up to the cops, so what’d they say?”

Ryan snorted. “Aside from almost slipping and calling us fags, they said they couldn’t help.”

“I’m sorry, almost calling you— What? Why?” Andrew asked.

Ryan gave the group the explanation of the conversation with the officer, including his only suggestion to dump Ryan and the decision to keep the wreck listed as an accident.

“So, translation: no help from the cops.”

“That’d be correct,” Shane said with a heavy sigh.

“Translation: we’re on our fuckin’ own,” Ryan muttered.  
“Well not entirely. I mean, we’re not much good – but you do have us,” Steven said.

Ryan smiled a little. “I know. We know. Thank you guys for that.”

“Oh, speaking of having your back, I talked to the big boss. Explained what happened with Shane and she said she understood. She’s marking you down for a family emergency, so you’re excused today and tomorrow, and she said Wednesday if you need it. She did say if you had some time and wanted to make some of the lost wages back, she uploaded some non-urgent commissions onto the cloud.”

Sara dug around in her bag and pulled out one of the company laptops and charger. “If you wanna. She’ll pay you commission cost, which you know is a helluva lot better than we make per hour.”

Ryan took the computer and nodded. “You’re amazing. Thank you.”

“Well, considering our friend’s holed up in the hospital for at least a day, it’s the last we can do.”

“I’m your friend now, huh?”

“Well you did sorta get into a crash because of my brother and best friend’s ex-boyfriend so…”

“Yeah that pretty much makes you an honorary member of the friend group,” Andrew agreed.

“You wanted to punch him in the stomach three weeks ago,” Zack argued.

“I’m about to punch you in the stomach right now.”

Zack glared and shoved two of the tongue depressors under his top lip. He began clapping his hands together and making seal sounds until Andrew stepped forward and smacked him upside the back of the head.

Ryan laughed helplessly along with the rest of them as Zack spit out the tongue depressors, rubbing the back of his head. Having his friends around, accepting Shane and supporting him; it made everything seem so much less scary. Things weren’t okay; he wasn’t sure they would be until this was figured out, but it was better because of his friends, and because of Shane.

 

***

 

The next day, the doctor gave Shane the okay to be released. He gave a list of recommendations and follow up requirements, deep breathing, ice the shoulder, so on and so forth. Ryan listened intently while Chris stood nearby, Shane’s duffel bag over his shoulder.

 

Ryan gave Chris the directions to his apartment, explaining what Sara had told them about Drake’s P.O.

 

At the house, after assuring Chris they’d call if there were any problems, Ryan helped Shane into a comfy pair of sweats and a loose t-shirt. Despite Shane’s resistance, he found himself settled onto the couch, a soda nearby and the smell of popcorn drifting in from the kitchen.

“What do you wanna watch?” Ryan called.

“I don’t know, something fun maybe. Tonight might be a cartoon night.”

Ryan entered the living room carrying a bowl of popcorn. He set it on the coffee table and handed Shane the remote. “You pick.”

They cuddled up on the couch while Shane scrolled through Netflix, finally settling on some cartoon that Ryan couldn’t place. He wasn’t exactly paying attention though, the exhaustion of the past day finally catching up to him. He was just beginning to doze off, listening to the steady thunk of Shane’s heart, when he heard Shane sniffle.

Looking up, he scowled. “Are you crying?”

Shane wiped his eyes quickly, smiling. “Sorry, you were nearly sleeping.”

“What’s wrong?” Ryan sat up, searching Shane’s face for any hint of pain. “Was I hurting your ribs? Do you need a painkiller?”

“No, no. You were fine. You felt nice there. I just realized… I don’t know, it all kinda just hit me. I almost died yesterday. I almost – This almost never happened again and it just—Fuck, I don’t know.”

Ryan’s shoulders sank. “I know, I’ve been trying not to think too much about it. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d—”

Shane grabbed Ryan’s shirt with his good hand, pulling him close and pressing their lips together. It was desperate, like it had been in the hospital, but there was a different feeling to it. Despite the desperation there was the need to make it last, savor the moment like it would be their final one. The kiss went on forever it seemed, moments that they simply were touching, sharing breaths. Other moments were rough, lips ground against teeth and nipped. Tongues brushed both playful and aggressive, quiet whimpers and sighs and moans breaking up the quiet din of the room. And when Ryan tasted salty tears, he wasn’t sure who they belonged to.

 

Somewhere along the way, they managed to slide their sweats down, and Ryan found himself straddling Shane’s lap. He was vividly aware of the need to be gentle and kept his weight squarely on Shane’s thighs. Their cocks bumped when they shifted, fingers tangling and tugging each other’s hair as their kisses grew lazier and deeper, filled with the steady throb of arousal.

Shane broke the kiss with a whispered curse, dragging Ryan back to reality.

“What?”

“One of us has to get up and grab lube.”

“No we don’t,” Ryan said, biting teasingly along the curve of Shane’s neck. He leaned over and dug around under the cushion of the couch, glaring when Shane picked that moment to graze his fingers along Ryan’s ribcage.

“If I fall backwards I’m punching you in the shoulder,” Ryan threated.

“You would never. What are you digging for?”

Ryan made a noise of triumph and yanked his hand out of the cushion, righting himself on Shane’s lap. A small bottle of lube was gripped between his fingers.

“Why do you—Do I even wanna know why you have that out here?”

“I was a single guy for a very long time, Shane. Single guys jerk off. Single guys who like bottoming jerk off with fingers in their ass sometimes. And sometimes, single guys who like bottoming who need to jerk off with fingers in their ass don’t feel like going all the way to the bedroom when their couch is perfect acceptable and comfy.”

“I feel like that was really long winded.”

“Fuck you.”

“Isn’t that the plan?”

Ryan rolled his eyes even as Shane laughed. “Shut up,” he grumbled without venom, pressing their lips together once more. The click of the lube bottle broke the silence. Ryan gasped into Shane’s mouth as he spread himself open, working the lube as deep as he could manage from this angle.

It was Shane’s turn to gasp when Ryan’s fingers curled around his cock, sliding slick and warm along the sensitive flesh. He broke the kiss when Ryan began to position himself.

“Condom?”

Ryan bit his lip, worrying it between his teeth. “I’m clean and I know you are and—If you’re okay with it, I’m… We don’t need one.”

Shane’s eyes fluttered. He set his hand on Ryan’s hip, giving a gentle squeeze. “I’m more than okay with that, baby.”

“I’ll be gentle. Lemme know if I’m hurting your ribs, okay?”

Shane nodded. Their lips met again as Ryan sank down on his cock. The thick, stretching heat was intensified without the condom and Ryan’s thighs began to shake, his heart pounding in his chest. Slow and steady, Ryan pressed down, willing himself to relax as he was filled. Kissing was impossible; at this moment they were nose to nose, sharing air as their hands slid over each other’s skin. Ryan tried to keep weight off Shane’s arm and ribs, but Shane’s grip with his mobile hand was desperate, dragging Ryan further onto his cock and closer until their chests bumped.

“So tight, Ryan,” Shane finally groaned. Ryan lifted up and dropped back down, the pulling sting in his ass making his cock jump.

“Never letting you wear a condom again.”

Shane laughed breathlessly, wincing a little.

“You okay?”

“I’m good; ribs are gonna hurt during this - but it’s worth it, I promise.”

Ryan nodded, stroking his fingers through Shane’s messy hair. “Let’s see if we can get those deep breathing exercises in, huh?”

With that he began to ride Shane with lazy, long movements, pulling almost entirely off his cock before sinking back down as far as he could.

He leaned forward and nipped at Shane’s earlobe. “As much as I love riding you, Shane... I can’t wait until your arm and ribs heal.”

“Why?” Shane rasped, his breath catching when Ryan clenched around the base of his cock.

“Cause I _really_ want you to fold me over the bed and fuck me until I scream.”

Shane groaned, his head falling back onto the couch.

“But see, that’s easy,” he argued, “cause you and I both know you’re a screamer when you let yourself relax.”

He twisted his hips up, grimacing when it jarred his ribs. He succeeded in his goal though, dragging a pleased shout from Ryan.

“Fine,” Ryan panted, picking up the speed of his hips. “Maybe you should try to fuck me so hard I can’t make noise.”

“Now _that_ I can get behind _._ Oh, God, Ryan—“

Ryan laughed a little, moving his hips down at the same angle. “Tell me, Shane. Tell me what you’d do to me. What you’re _gonna_ do to me.”

Shane’s fingers bit into Ryan’s hip, his teeth bared as Ryan rode him.

“First— First I’d eat your ass; gotta make sure you’re— you’re nice and relaxed. Then I’d get you bent over the — oh fuck, faster baby—“

“Keep talking, Shane,” Ryan demanded, fucking himself onto Shane’s cock.

“Bent over the bed!” Shane shouted, slamming his head against the back of the couch. “I’d slick up my cock and slam it into you so fast you couldn’t be ready, just to hear you scream,” he continued, his voice broken with gasps and whimpers.

Ryan yanked at Shane’s hair as he rode him, his cheeks burning at Shane’s words and cock throbbing at each brush against his prostate.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard, Ry. Over and over, you’re barely gonna be able to breathe. Fuck you until you’re just about to come and pull out.”

Ryan sobbed, reaching down to fist his cock. Shane grabbed his wrist and dragged it up, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I’d flip you over and slam back in. Cause if you’re coming apart on my bare cock I’m watching every second of it,” he growled.

Ryan’s eyes fluttered shut. He let Shane hold his hand as he picked up the pace again, stifling his moans to hear Shane talk.

“You feel so good when your legs around my waist, Ryan,” Shane continued. “Your ass opens right up for me. And it’ll open up then too. Gonna get every inch inside you, baby.”

“Shane!” Ryan sobbed.

“That’s it, keep riding me. Gonna come on my cock, huh?”

Ryan nodded, his thighs quivering.

“Don’t stop, come on, look so good like this,” Shane encouraged. “Gonna let me come inside?”

“Yes, please—“

“Okay baby, just keep going and you’ll get it. Come on Ryan, look so fuckin’ good like this.”

Ryan’s head fell back, hips twisting and slamming down as hard as he dared. He groaned in the back of his throat, struggling to bite back his screams as his stomach twisted in little knots, shooting pinpricks of hot pleasure through his entire body. His knees burned from the strain and his thighs ached, but he could do this forever. Or at least—

“Last warning, baby,” Shane panted, “I’m close, I can’t— I can’t stop if you—“

“Oh shut up, Shane!” Ryan shouted, throwing his head back. His cock jumped, dribbling come as his orgasm hit without a stroke. He grabbed his cock then, stroking hard and fast to finish.

Under him, Shane’s hips jerked. His fingers bit into Ryan’s thighs and his cock throbbed rhythmically. Ryan’s cheeks warmed; even through the haze of his own pleasure he knew exactly what the warm feeling was, spreading in his belly. His eyes fluttered open as Shane came, face twisted into a silent shout.

 

Ryan rested his head on Shane’s good shoulder, laughing breathlessly. “Holy shit.”

“That was fucking amazing,” Shane mumbled, brushing his lips over the curve of Ryan’s neck.

“You’re telling me.”

Shane grunted then, making a small noise of discomfort. “It was; and I hate to break the moment; but I could use one of those painkillers now.”

Ryan scrambled back, lifting himself off Shane carefully. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t feel bad, it was exactly what we needed I think,” Shane said, but curled his good arm around his middle.

Ryan smiled weakly and nodded. He tugged on his sweats and pulled off his sticky t-shirt before padding to the kitchen, grabbing Shane’s pill bottle and a glass of water. When he returned, Shane was nearly asleep, lips curled into a half smile, head tilted back on the couch.

Ryan smiled softly, his throat closing as his heart did a strange little flutter in his chest. He didn’t want to admit it, it was too soon - too much - but he knew he was falling hard and fast for the long legged goofball in front of him.

Shane’s tired gaze met his own. “C’mere; I’m cold.”

“That’s why we get you dressed and in bed,” Ryan argued, approaching Shane and passing him a pill. He helped him back into his sweats and out of his shirt.

“Come on, big guy.”

“You know, you don’t have to stay home tomorrow. I can manage,” Shane said as they headed to the bathroom.

“Uh-huh. But I can’t,” Ryan admitted, diverting them to the bathroom first. They handled their nighttime hygiene with a quiet ease, hands brushing over the sink faucets and small smiles shared in the mirror.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Shane asked when they reached the bedroom, picking the thread of conversation back up as they often did.

“I mean I wouldn’t be able to focus tomorrow. Not with all of this. I’m much better off taking the day off and taking care of you. Now settle and get some sleep.”

Shane rolled his eyes good naturedly. “I can’t believe you told me to shut up _as_ you came.”

“I meant it then, and I mean it now. Shut up, Shane.”

Shane laughed, his grin widening further when Ryan glared up at him. “You know you love it.”

“I really do,” Ryan admitted, his voice breaking just a little at the end of his sentence. He prayed Shane wouldn’t notice, smiling a little when Shane only tilted his head up and pressed a kiss to his mouth.

They settled into the bed comfortably, Ryan nestled up against Shane’s side, arm around his waist to carefully avoid his ribcage. Ryan listened until Shane’s breathing evened out, broken by the quiet rasp when pain would make him stir. He’d very nearly lost the man he was inadvertently falling for... And without telling him that truth. The thought alone would make a majority of normal folks tell their partners. Wake them from a dead sleep and shout it from the rooftops. But fear still held Ryan back. He felt stupid – thinking he was that deep for a guy he barely knew. He fell fast and his emotions were strong, but that’s what got him in trouble with Drake. So, he decided he was going to wait. Feel this out. _Enjoy_ the newness of the relationship without the weight of that emotion.

Snuggling a little closer to Shane, Ryan sighed and closed his eyes, finally letting exhaustion overtake his rapid-fire brain.


	18. Happy Accident

Shane was ready to murder something by the end of two weeks. Ryan tried his best, and Shane was good about never taking out his frustration _on_ Ryan, but it was pretty clear if he didn’t get back to work soon they were going to end up in an argument or worse. Shane’s dad was less excited about the prospect; he knew Shane’s ribs still ached pretty regularly and he was worried about setting him back further. But he could see the exhaustion clear on both of their faces, and not from pain. So he agreed to pull Shane back onto the project doing the lighter work around the office.

Lighter work meant paperwork most of the time, Shane had learned, or doing the lunch runs for the crew.  But he managed to convince his dad to let him do the final paint job after just a few days.

 

That’s where Shane was on a cool evening two and a half weeks after the accident. Balanced at the top of a ladder, open can of paint on the shelf a few inches down, good arm raised as he painted the seam of the light in the center of the new office space.

“What’re you thinking for dinner?” Ryan asked, stretching until his back popped.

“I’m not picky. Just food.”

“You’re a great help.”

Shane made a small noise between a grunt and a laugh, looking down at Ryan from his perch on the ladder.

“Chipotle.”

“We had that two nights ago.”

“And you could literally eat it every night.”

Ryan scowled, opening his mouth to argue before shutting it and glaring at the wall for a moment. “Okay, you’re not wrong. Same thing you got before?”

“Nah, something different. Surprise me,” Shane said.

“Should I just meet you at home?” Ryan began to pack up his things in his bag. Shane nodded.

“This is gonna take me a bit. I’ll call a car home.”

“You sure? I can wait a while if you want.”

Shane shook his head. “You need some rest. Don’t try to lie; I know you were up half the night dealing with that crashed computer thing Zack was talking about this morning.”

“It was a crashed server, Shane,” Ryan said patiently. “I’ll see you at home, okay? Be careful.”

“Always.”

Ryan smiled, tugging his sweatshirt on and zipping it and slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder. He watched Shane silently for a few moments before nodding to himself and heading out of the office.

Despite everything… Things were going really _well_. It was scary; having Drake out there, knowing what he’s capable of, but Shane was happy – save for his cabin fever – and Ryan was happy. Happier than he’d been in a long, _long_ time. He knew Shane was the direct cause of it, and every piece of his heart told him to just _tell_ the guy the truth. But the part of his head Drake still resided in worried. What if it _was_ too soon, what if Shane didn’t feel the same way? So Ryan stayed quiet, basking in the content happiness they both seemed to feel.

Ryan was still in his head when he shouldered his way out of the office. The building was quiet; almost everyone had gone home except Shane and Ryan, and a few stragglers in the office at the other end of the building. He rounded the hallway toward the exit, glancing down at his phone.

“Well, aren’t you still the cutest little fuck. After all this time, don’t look any different, huh Pookie?”

A cold dread settled over Ryan’s entire body at the familiar nickname. It was a shortened form of poquito, and only one person had ever called him that. He raised his head slowly, swallowing the bile that burned his throat as his stomach flipped and twisted.

Drake’s smile was predatory, his teeth bared as he stared Ryan down, not six feet in front of him. He was just as Ryan remembered; maybe a little broader, a little paler, but otherwise — Just Drake. His arms were crossed over his chest, the leather of his jacket taut over his bulging biceps.

“You—“ Ryan swallowed, his voice drying up in his throat. “You can’t be here,” he tried again.

“Says who?”

“The restraining order.” Ryan felt a surge of bravery, standing a little taller. “Get the fuck away from me or I’ll call the cops.”

Drake laughed: a deep, barking sound that made Ryan’s skin crawl. He flinched before he could stop himself, and Drake noticed instantly. He was like a dog to meat or a fly to rot; fear fed him.

“A piece of paper won’t stop me from taking what I want.”

“Go. Away.” Ryan said again, steeling himself against the fear coursing through his veins. Drake took a step forward, and Ryan took one back.

“I missed you Pookie. Every day when I was locked up I thought about what I was gonna do the _second_ I got out. And I get out and find out... My little fucking shithead of a boyfriend tried to _move on_? No. That just won’t do.”

“I’m not your boyfriend. I--“ Ryan swallowed hard, his thumb sliding along the side of his phone. “I’m seeing someone else and you’re going to leave us alone.”

“Talk big all you want. I know you’re pissing yourself. I may have misjudged the fucker’s strength the first time but I will not fucking fail the second time. I’m gonna rip his fucking guts out, Ryan. And you’re going to watch.”

The whisper-click of the knife flipping open was almost completely buried by the sharp ring of Ryan’s phone. They both looked down, Ryan’s heart swelling his throat closed. Emergency SOS  was written on the screen, a countdown clear as day. The alarm sounded again as the phone counted down.

Understanding crossed Drake’s face and he lunged, the steel of his knife glinting off the fluorescent lights of empty hallway. Ryan moved at the same time, tossing his phone behind him and sending it skittering down the hall. He stepped forward and gave Drake a shove backwards, smirking a little at the look of surprise he received for it. The joy was short lived, however, when Drake dove again, snarling.

“I’m gonna rip your face off, you stupid bitch.”

Ryan held his ground, bringing up his arm to block Drake’s, and sidestepping the first swipe of the knife.

Drake dropped his empty hand, planting his elbow in Ryan’s sternum. Ryan gasped, the wind knocked out of him as he stumbled back. Drake went forward again, punching low. Ryan coughed, a dull, throbbing pain spreading through his side and ribs when the strike connected. His vision blurred momentarily. Drake smirked, their noses brushing. “And I wasn’t gonna kill you, Pookie. Now you just pissed me off.”

He stepped back, shoving Ryan as he did. Ryan winced, the pain in his side spreading. He touched it, surprised when his hand came away warm and wet. It was then his brain made the connection; the bright red staining the steel of Drake’s knife, and the lazily spreading stain on Ryan’s hoodie.

Fear burned worse than the pain, a dizzying nausea overcoming Ryan. Drake was coming for him again, knife raised for a strike that would surely be more deadly than this one. Mustering all the strength he had, using his fear as the only power he knew he could wield, Ryan drew his fist back and struck. The blow landed steady and true. Ryan could only savor the dull thud of his fist again Drake’s face and the dazed, shocked expression that dulled his vision for a moment. He realized this was his chance, and took off, kicking his phone a little further down the hall. He knew the emergency responder had to have heard the fight going on, and his phone was set to text his friends in case of an SOS call. He just needed to get to Shane. Power was in numbers and the office – though closed off – would be a much better place to handle Drake if he decided he wanted to attack, at least until the cops or their friends showed up.

Ryan could hear Drake on his tail, feet pounding down the hallway even as he rounded the corner and shoved his way into the office.

“Shane!”

Shane looked up. He was perched on the top of the ladder, holding his middle as he breathed slow and deep.

“What’s wrong? Is that blood?” He turned, trying to get himself right to scramble down the ladder. Ryan rushed forward as he office door opened. Drake pointed a finger at him.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Ryan circled around the desks and past the ladder, looking for anything to fight with. His side throbbed, reminding him of the handicap he knew would make it that much harder to win. From the corner of his eye he saw Shane scrambling down the ladder as fast as his own injured ribs would allow. Drake was moving forward, still gripping the knife. He glanced at Shane, eyes darting up the length of the ladder. Ryan could almost see the gears working in his brain, and barely had time to open his mouth before Drake moved changed directions, slamming his weight into the ladder. It teetered dangerously, Shane’s weight threatening to bring it down on top of him. Shane shoved himself forward when he realized what was happening.

The ladder crashed back onto its feet and the half full paint can on the plastic shelf tipped, its weight slamming it forward and sending it crashing down. The bright white paint spilled over Drake’s dark hair, stilling him for a split second before the can followed suit, slamming onto his head from the high ladder with a sickening crack. Drake stumbled, hitting the ladder weakly as he struggled to stay upright. His shaken brain won the battle and he crumpled to the ground, unconscious – at least for the moment.

Shane took advantage, taking the last few steps of the ladder down and rushing over to Ryan.

“How bad are you hurt?”

“I’m okay,” Ryan panted, still holding his bleeding side.

“I’ll need stitches probably but it doesn’t—The pain isn’t too bad.” He tried to smile, hoping Shane wouldn’t see through it. Shane’s eyes narrowed. “Come on, we need to get out of here and call the cops before he gets up,” He said, curling an arm protectively around Ryan as Drake began to groan behind them.

“I already called them; they should be on their way. We need to make sure he stays in here.”

Shane nodded, beginning to lead Ryan out the door.

“We will. We’ll barricade the door if we have to. He’s not getting away with this.”

He tugged off his flannel, leaving himself in just a plain striped t-shirt.

“Use this to put pressure on the wound.”

Ryan did as Shane said, wincing at the pain. It still burned, spreading hot and painful from the entry point and outward. He knew it wasn’t fatal, though if he continued to bleed it very well could end up that way. The adrenaline had begun to wear off, and the reality of what was happening was setting in. Shane pushed him through the door, one big hand on Ryan’s back to ground him and keep him moving. He could hear the sirens in the distance, his heart picking up speed again. Shane walked him steadily down the hall, glancing back every few seconds at the door.

“If he comes out…”

“If he comes out he’s not gonna be moving too fast; that paint can hit hard. I’ll handle him,” Shane said firmly. Ryan’s heart jumped in his chest at Shane’s tone; protecting and caring and sweet without even trying.

Before the two got much further down the halls, two officers rounded the corner, hands on the butts of their guns.

Shane raised his hands instantly. “We’re not armed.”

“Who called 9-1-1?” The first officer asked, his nametag reading ‘Andretti’.

“I did,” Ryan said, leaning on Shane.

“Are you hurt?” The second officer asked. Ryan nodded.

“I got stabbed.”

“Where’s the perp?”

Shane jutted his head backward. “He was just waking up when we headed this way. He had a knife, I don’t know if he’ll grab it. He got knocked out… By a paint can.”

The cops exchanged a confused look. Officer Andretti shrugged and the other officer – Mills – headed down the hall where Shane had pointed.

Officer Andretti grabbed his radio, speaking into it about the situation. After updating whoever was on the other end, he smiled softly at Shane and Ryan. “How about we get you boys outside, wait for the ambulance to take a look at that wound. It’s not too bad is it?”

“Probably needs stitches,” Ryan admitted. “And I’m a little woozy, but I’ll be okay.”

“Good – If you’re alright, I’d like to get a statement from each of you; figure out what happened.”

Ryan opened his mouth to speak as a crash sounded from the office. Officer Andretti pushed past them, racing to where his partner had disappeared. There was silence, then a sharp bark of laughter. A few moments later the officers emerged from the office, with a handcuffed – and paint covered – Drake in tow. He was struggling against Officer Mills, muttering under his breath. When he neared Shane and Ryan, his struggling increased.

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” He spat.

Ryan pressed closer to Shane, setting his jaw and narrowing his gaze in an attempt to hold his ground. The officers pushed Drake forward and toward the door, paying his threats no mind. Officer Andretti stopped after Drake and Officer Mills passed.

“So about those statements. Come on, guys.” He motioned toward the door, and they followed the other two out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that! There's one more chapter in this series - if all goes according to plan it should be released on Tuesday the 27th!


	19. Confession

“Told you it wasn’t that bad,” Ryan mumbled, his arm slung over his eyes. His shirt was off and the nurse was working on the final stiches to his side.

“Sure, yeah I know. But there was a lot of blood,” Shane mumbled. Ryan peeked out from under his arm.

“You okay, baby?” He asked. Shane was sitting in the chair next to the bed, his hands fisted on his thighs. He looked fine, save for the blood that had drained from his cheeks, leaving him ghostly white.

“Oh, I’m fine.”

“You look ready to pass out.”

“I do not.”

Ryan laughed as best he could in the position he was in. “You can step out you know.”

“No, I’m fine, I promise.”

“At least he’s sitting,” the nurse said, adding the last bit of tape to Ryan’s side. “Last time I had a boyfriend in here, his girlfriend was getting her arm stitched up and oh boy – he passed out and cracked open his head a good one. That was a bigger mess than it needed to be.”

Ryan chuckled again. “Am I good to go?”

“Nope, you need one last thing. But you can sit up. I’ll be right back.”

She walked out as Ryan sat up, placing a hand lightly over his side. “Well, this is gonna leave a scar.”

“You’ll look like a badass,” Shane joked, reaching out and placing his hand over Ryan’s thigh.

“I don’t already?”

“Course you do. You feeling okay?”

“Oh yeah – the painkillers helped. How about you? I’m sure your ribs are just screaming at you.”

“Nah, I had an extra pill in my bag that I was gonna take if painting killed me too much, I took that on the way over. I’m good.”

Ryan nodded. He set his hand over Shane’s, twining their fingers. “Did you text the guys? Tell ‘em not to worry?”

“Yeah, I told them to meet us at your place after – be easier than having them all at the hospital.”

“Yeah, they won’t keep me here too long.”

He glanced up when the nurse entered again, a syringe and small vial in hand. Shane’s face - having gained some color in the interim - whitened immediately.

“What is that?”

“It’s a tetanus shot,” the nurse explained patiently, setting the items on a nearby table. She helped Ryan into a sitting position.

“Dude - are you scared of needles?” Ryan asked.

“What? No- I mean not really the needles, I just — it’s nothing.”

“No, I’m gonna need to hear this one,” Ryan pushed. Shane squirmed a little.

“Look I just — Okay, I have this fear that someone’s gonna inject me with heroin.”

“Like... Tell you it’s a shot or something?”

“Well I don’t know, I’ve never gotten specific about it, but just that it’ll be done against my will in some way and I end up hooked.”

Ryan and the nurse exchanged a look, laughter already bubbling up from Ryan’s stomach. He held it together for only a few seconds before cracking up, holding his aching side as he did so. Even the nurse began to chuckle, trying her best to hide it. Shane rolled his eyes.

“Hey, come on, it’s just a fear!”

“Yeah but how often does that actually happen?” Ryan asked, still laughing.

“Well— I don’t know. I’m sure it has! Fine, what’s your fear?”

Ryan shrugged with one shoulder, glancing down when the nurse rubbed an alcohol pad over his arm.

“Bears.”

“Are there even bears in Southern California?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care to find out to be honest. At least it’s a more rational fear than accidental heroin injection.”

Shane glared, crossing his arms in a pout. “See if I ever protect you if a bear comes around.”

“I’d rather you didn’t anyway. You’d die. Because bears are scary.”

“You also think ghosts are scary.”

“Okay, you know what— ow!” Ryan looked down at where the nurse had pushed the needle in and was depressing the plunger.

“If I’d waited for you boys to be done arguing we would’ve been here all night,” she said simply, withdrawing the needle and pressing a cotton ball over it. “If you’re not already engaged you should be; you two bicker liked you’ve been married twenty years.”

“Don’t know if that’s a good thing,” Ryan said, holding the cotton over the spot while the nurse cleaned up the area.

“I’d say it is. It’s a comfort thing. The bickering I see between most happy, fulfilled couples is very similar to that. An argument that fills the human love for debate without any aggression or hurt feelings.”

Ryan smiled a little at that, allowing her to place a bandage over the injection site. He lowered his gaze to his hands. He could hear Shane and the nurse talking back and forth, but paid no attention; dwelling on what she’d said.

As the nurse made her exit, telling Ryan to stay put just a little longer, Officer Andretti knocked on the doorframe.

“How you feeling, Ryan?”

“Better. Thank you. Just some stitches.”

“Good. I just wanted to update you. Drake has a nasty concussion but the doc gave us the green light to book him.”

“Will he be released?”

“It’s doubtful. A judge may offer bail but I’ve had his P.O. chewing my ear off for an hour about this - that guy is a dog with a bone.”

“In his defense or what?”

“Against Drake. I guess Drake’s sister’s been keeping him updated about everything.”

“Is Shane gonna get charged? Or me?”

“Not at all - it was clear self defense, especially when you take in account the previous threats.”

Ryan shook his head. “The cop said that wasn’t real. Like it wouldn’t hold up.”

Andretti shrugged. “It’s circumstantial. But with everything else, it’s enough. The P.O. told us all of it in vivid detail thanks to Sara. Guy’s already tried to file a complaint against Devries.”

Ryan shifted a little at the name, his lip twisting upward in anger. Officer Andretti smiled.

“Don’t worry, I’ve already let the chief know the situation. We’ve been itching to get Devries in shit for a long time - most of us hate his guts. But you didn’t hear that from me.”

Ryan relaxed visibly at that, nodding.

“Speaking of; do you still have those photos? Of the text and flowers?”

“Yeah, on my phone.”

“Text ‘em to me. I wanna put them in the file.”

Ryan did as he requested, looking back up when he was done. “I assume it’s a given that I’m pressing charges.”

“Oh yeah, you and Shane both. Already have it filed. Listen, I gotta go talk to Drake’s doc; you boys call me if you need anything okay? Or if you remember anything else. Do you have a way home?”

“Yeah, we’re just gonna take a car,” Shane said. Officer Andretti nodded.

“We’ll be in touch about the case. Court date and all that good stuff.”

“Sure. Thank you, Officer,” Shane said. He grinned and nodded.

“My pleasure. Get healed up.” He walked out, bumping into the doctor and offering her a wink. Ryan laughed a little.

“Man, I’m like a celebrity today.”

“Well a knife to the ribs will certainly do that to a guy. I was just coming in to tell you to get the hell out actually.”

Ryan laughed and nodded. “I see how it is, I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

She grinned. “So pretty basic care for stitches.  Keep the dressing on for at least twelve hours and don’t take a long bath for at least forty-eight. No vigorous exercise until the stitches are mostly dissolved, running, weight lifting, acrobatic sex, anything that really tugs at that area.”

Ryan and Shane both laughed a little, earning an eye roll from her. “Don’t even pretend; you’re a happy couple in your twenties, I know how it is. Just be careful. You should be okay to return to work the day after tomorrow; probably tomorrow but you might want a day to recover, so I wrote a note for you. And I called in painkillers to your pharmacy. The stitches should dissolve in a few weeks at most, but if you have any issues or it doesn’t look right, just head back in, okay?”

“Sounds good, Doc. Thank you.”

She nodded. “I’m gonna grab your discharge papers and then you can get outta here.”

 

The two sat in silence for a bit, each seemingly in their own thoughts.

“Shane?” Ryan didn’t mean for his voice to come out as timid as it did.

“What’s up?”

“I — hm.” Ryan scowled at his hands. He shifted, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to fully face Shane. “I need to say something. And I need you to let me, okay? No matter what.”

“Sure,” Ryan glanced up, smiling a little when he saw Shane leaned forward in his chair, listening intently.

Ryan took a deep breath, his heart settling firmly in his throat and constricting his breathing.

“It’s been— Not even two months. And we’ve been through more together than most older lifelong couples.”

Shane nodded, remaining silent. Taking it as a positive, Ryan continued. “When I left Drake, I promised myself I wouldn’t let anyone get close enough to hurt me again. And that worked for a long time. And then you came into my life and everything got fucked up. You made me question everything and I was terrified. I tried to ditch you and it was to protect myself. But you didn’t give up and I gave you a shot and I—“ Ryan took a steadying breath, forcing himself to slow down. “We worked out. And then Drake came back and I realized I was more scared of keeping _you_ safe than myself, for probably the first time in my life. I’m not sure when everything changed or when it happened, but somewhere along the way I— I fell in love with you, Shane,” Ryan whispered, hanging his head.

His heart pounded in his ears, fear bubbling up his throat as a bitter acid. He heard Shane rise and felt the bed sink. That warm, familiar comfort slid over him like a blanket when Shane pressed his nose and lips against Ryan’s head. He wrapped his arm loosely around Ryan’s shoulders, his hand gripping his upper arm just tight enough; just enough to ground him.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for you to say those words?” Shane whispered against his hair. He leaned back and Ryan looked up, his eyes wide with nerves.   
“I don’t know when my crush went from that to love, Ryan. Maybe from the first day we met. I’ve had to hold back whispering how much I love you so much lately and I—I can’t do that anymore. I love you. Okay? I fucking love you, Ryan and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you if I can help it.”

Ryan laughed, nuzzling against Shane’s chest. “Don’t be an idiot; I’m clearly the one that protects you.”

Shane’s laugh rumbled against Ryan’s cheek, both arms curling around his shoulders. “You’re right. But it doesn’t change anything about how I feel.”

“Me neither. I’m sorry I was so stupid when you first tried to ask me out.”

“You were scared. Probably still are sometimes. But I won’t hurt you, Ryan. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life proving that – I will.”

Ryan leaned back and shook his head. “No. You don’t. You proved it and you – There’s no need for you to keep proving it. I trust you, and that’s all I need. I love you.”

Shane leaned forward, brushing their lips together. “I love you too, Ryan. Even if you’re scared of goblins.”

Ryan wheezed and shoved Shane’s shoulder lightly. “Shut up, Shane,” he muttered, fisting his shirt and dragging him into a deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that guys! Thank you so much for reading and commenting and sticking with me through this rollercoaster of a fic! You all are amazing and have helped me create this awesome thing. 
> 
> Next on the docket -- I got no idea. Right now I'm working on a smutty D/s oneshot and then I'll possibly dive into one of the other series' I have on the back burner. I may end up working through a few short fics first though, it'll all depend. I definitely recommend subscribing here or checking me out over on [the writing tag of my Tumblr](http://skepticalghouligan.tumblr.com/tagged/my), I'll post not only fics there, but also sporadic updates of what's coming down the pike. 
> 
> Again - thank you so much guys, see you all soon!


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